Why You Need to Stop Using These Dating App Phrases ASAP – CNET

Maybe you should work on that skill, given that’s how most of these sites work. 

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That might be the least surprising lede I’ve ever written for an article. If you’ve spent any time on The Apps, you’ve likely noticed there’s a sameness of language that pervades many bios. There are phrases that pop up over and over again: “Just say hi.” “Quotes way too much from The Office.” “Fluent in sarcasm.”  

Also ask yourself this: Do you really quote from The Office that much? How much is “way too much?” Does it border on annoying? 
Granted, dating app profiles can be challenging to write. You’re trying to figure out how to distill your personality — all those intangible qualities that might actually endear you to someone — into a few hundred characters. All the while, you’re trying to find a certain economy, leaning on details that signal something deeper about your lifestyle.  
Genuinely, I have no idea what this is trying to communicate other than maybe a sense of humor? Or the ability to copy and paste on a mobile device?
Should they? Good for you for knowing what you want, but maybe be less abrasive about it? YIKES. 
Will I go ahead and blame societal hang-ups about gender and height on the patriarchy? Of course. In the meantime, adding this to your bio is like taking a snitty little (unneeded) swipe at future matches who actually might not care how tall you are. 
Admittedly, if you talk to online daters, there’s a common problem with chats that go on too long without either party making a move to meet in person. But preemptively scolding would-be matches is off-putting. Instead, maybe be more intentional about steering the conversation toward making plans, or better yet — just ask. 
It took only three swipes on Bumble to find a profile bio including the sentence, “I’m an open book, just ask.”

Fluent in sarcasm

It’s totally reasonable to think that common interests will attract a potential match. Here’s the thing, though: Pick an interest that’s more unique to you than, say, liking one of the most popular television shows in recent memory. (Neilsen found The Office was the most watched show on Netflix in 2018.) At one point in time, perhaps liking The Office meant being the kind of person who likes cringe humor, pranks and heart-tugging will-they-won’t-they romantic tension. These days, it just means you like a popular show. That’s akin to hoping someone likes you because you’re such a big fan of french fries. Much like puppies and sunshine, these aren’t controversial interests. 

I’m an open book, just ask

On one hand, this could be a supereconomic line to have in your bio — you’re signaling that you’re looking for something serious while also nodding to a piece of pop culture you’re into. But to refer to the above entry, IT’S THE OFFICE. It’s not unique. You might be better off picking characters from a show, movie or book that are more unusual (but not so obscure no one is going to know what you’re talking about). OR you could forgo the cliche altogether and write something else. 

[Height] because apparently that matters

Pet owners can get pretty wrapped up in their furry buddies. I, for one, have essentially surrendered the entire guest bathroom of my condo to my cat, Salsa. If you talk to dating coaches, though, they generally advise staying away from negative language in your profile. Just think: You haven’t even met and you’re already laying out a condition for how the relationship is going to fail. But at least you’ll have your dog to cuddle with!

A string of emoji

There’s a corner of my brain that keeps inconsequential conspiracy theories stored away like that one tin can of French-cut green beans you’re never in the mood for. And it’s there that I imagine a global meeting of online daters where it was decided that the only way to snarkily address height-related inquiries was to write, “[Height] because apparently that matters.”

I’m bad at replying 

Again, file this under “noncontroversial interests.” You know what would be interesting? The person who hates laughing. Show me that human. I have questions. 

I’m bad at bios

Just remember, quoting from The Office isn’t a personality.

Please be interesting

Though it’s a positive to signal an openness to share about yourself with a potential match, this phrase is most often a lazy-sounding stand-in for writing a bio. Don’t forget, the point of a bio is to help others figure out if they want to talk to you. Don’t invite them to go on a fishing expedition in hopes you both happen to enjoy Norwegian Slow TV. 

Looking for a partner in crime

Over dinner with friends a few weeks ago, I brought up this topic, and one of them admitted he’d had that exact phrase about height in his Tinder bio. Feeling like maybe this was the first step in unraveling a mystery, I asked where he’d gotten it. He said a friend told him to put it in his bio. And when I got him to ask his friend where he’d heard it, the friend wasn’t sure and thought maybe there was no point of origin, but rather that the whole thing was a convergent evolution. 

Not looking for a pen pal

You better have a ’66 Thunderbird we can drive off a cliff. 

Here for a good time not a long time

CNET’s Love Syncs is an advice column focusing on online dating. If you’ve got a question about finding love via app, send it to erin.carson@cnet.com for consideration. 

Quotes way too much from The Office

If nothing else, at least you’re being up front about what you’re looking for. And hey, if someone else out there is also not looking for the whole white picket fence deal, it may not matter you’re not Shakespeare. Consider once again, though, that even if you’re trying to lock down a Friday night and nothing more, there are still tons of profiles competing against yours using the same verbiage. 
While it might seem cute to fill your bio with emoji representing the activities and interests you like– a beer glass, a dog, a person doing yoga– you’re better off sticking to words and sentences that actually illustrate your personality. Though many have tried, a football is not a personality in and of itself. Also, please don’t make your potential matches decode your emoji like hieroglyphics. Words are handy. Use them.
Self-improvement is a wonderful thing. Seize the opportunity. Moreover, instead of making a self-conscious comment, or an excuse for why you left your bio blank, take five minutes to put something down. Half of these apps have a 500 character limit. You will overcome this hardship.

Looking for the Jim to my Pam (or vice versa)

Being new to town is definitely a relevant detail to disclose. It can lead to some starter conversation about what prompted the move, or even chatting about places you’ve lived. The “show me around” part leaves the other person with those vague thoughts of “why?” and “surely Thrillist has several articles on this.”

If my dog doesn’t like you, it’s not going to work

Poring over Google results from years past also failed to turn up some first golden instance of the phrase.

I’m just here for the dog pics

The implication here is that you are fabulously interesting. Or, at least interesting enough to pass judgment on others. But unless you’re swiping from the top of Mount Everest with your best friend, a dancing bear, you’re probably just like most other people on The Apps — a human who works, pays bills, and has some shred of hope that enough swipes will yield what you’re looking for.

Just moved here, show me around!


I’ve got my shit together. You should too.

So after chatting up friends, co-workers and strangers on the internet, I’m here to offer you The Love Syncs Guide to Online Dating’s Most Annoying Phrases. 

General references to having fun and laughing

Read more Love Syncs.

Just say hi

So there likely was no meeting, or at least I wasn’t invited. Nevertheless, the same language occurs across the genders, and, according to my international colleagues, across the bodies of water that used to provide much more effective barriers to the spread of trends.  It’s quite possible that “sarcasm” has become shorthand for having a sense of humor. Ask yourself this, though: What exactly is appealing about constantly saying things you don’t mean? And in that tone.