Waiting (1999)
Some friends of mine, okay Web and Tim, wrote a script
a couple years back called "Funk Kitchen." Web used
to be a professional cook, so the film was about the
weird and interesting and zany characters he had worked
with at restaurants. And, of course, it was about the
weird things that happen at such a jobsite as well.
This too is the subject of "Waiting" (as in what waiters
do).
I could never get past the first 3 or 4 pages of "Funk
Kitchen" (which, by the way, Web and Tim submitted to
Sundance and we're rejected) and I couldn't make it
through all of "Waiting." After 40 minutes or so, I
had had enough. I was out.
"Waiting" starts with a static shot of an empty chair.
Hopefully this will be what the theaters look like if
this piece of shit ever sees the light of day in distribution:
A bunch of empty chairs.
Stupid, unfunny, unfocused, and out-of-control, "Waiting"
offends everyone imaginable. I, of course, was offended
by the stereotypical gay guys (waiters) played for laughs.
Then the filmmakers fly in ancient porn star Ron Jeremy
to do one of the most stupid, stereotypical, lame, old-ass
black jokes ever heard (and heard and heard). Then the
film goes on to offend Spanish people, women, overweight
people, Sicilians...you name it.
I guess the film wants to be a modern farce - a sort
of semi-frenetic "romp." But it's just stupid. We never
believe anyone in the film or anything that happens.
Will Keenan, who must need work desperately, tries really,
really hard but he is on a sinking piece of shit. His
character in the film compares his life to a clogged
up toilet. Really, it's just the film that feels like
this.
While I was watching the film, I wished I was one
of those pretentious fucks from Miramax or something
who could watch five minutes of a film, realize it's
shit, and then leave. But I'm a trooper. I have watched
numerous pieces of crud till the bitter end.
Okay - not this one. I actually had to get up and
leave. I was so irate and so angered by the stupidity
and the outright perverse joy the filmmakers take in
making fun of stereotypes that I had to get up and walk
out. If this piece of shit ever sees the light of day,
if it ever gets distributed, I will slit my fucking
wrists.
You'd need a fucking electron microscope to find a
redeeming value in this absolute piece of crud.
Notes:
Shot very poorly on digital.
More
of Lodger's reviews indexed alphabetically! Just click
your favorite letter to go there.
a
b c
d e
f g
h i
j k
l m
n o
p q
r s
t u
v w
x y
z
HOME
|
In
Association with:
|
Posters From!
|
|
Please Visit
|
|
