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Universal Soldier: The Return (1999)

8/19/99 - Previewed "Universal Soldier 2." I thought it was really good cheese, making jumps into spectacular insanity. I mean, one minute Van Damme and his obvious love interest are in a burning building, and the next they're in a car driving down the street. And the dialogue, beautiful ethereal cheese. Then, suddenly, we realized the film had been put together wrong, reels 3 and 4 were reversed. It took us 3 hours to fix it and see it all in sequence, where it suddenly lost all it's eclectic charm. This thing is the biggest piece of shit you can pay money to see this year! It does have the biggest explosion I've ever seen on film, I believe, at the end though. Got home at 4:30am

 

Report Card

Script: F

Acting: F

Cinematography\Lighting: C

Special Effects\Make Up: D+

Music: F

Final Grade: F

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