Totally Fucked Up (1993)

All the shit that comes with being a gay teenager, Gregg Araki puts in "Totally Fucked Up." Fagbashing, parents, bad relationships, nihilism, degradation, bad sex, masturbation, AIDS, fatalism, depression, angst, boredom... you name it, it's here. Well, I take that back. There is only one thing missing - peer pressure. Everyone here is pretty much gay and none of their peers ever make it into the movie. That's okay by me. I don't think I could take that much added angst here. The characters are nicely drawn gay teens with nothing but time on their hands. The main one of them, or at least the one that gets most of our attention, is James Duval as Andy. Not only is Duval as hot as hell but he plays his gay love scenes with ease. And Duval, making his first appearance on film, totally dominates the piece. The most angst-ridden of his friends, Duval's Andy is a total dream to all of us older gay guys. Of course we like him, even though he moans a lot.

What happens to him in the film has happened to all of us though and his eventual fate is all the more troubling because of this. Because he is so dreamy and because, once you peel away the layers of blackness, he is so much like us, it hurts us to see his fate all the more. Andy just wants to meet a nice guy and fall in love. What gay guy doesn't want that? So when we watch him, we think we are the perfect guy for him. We think we could make him happy. We think we could love him. If only somehow we could reach him as easily as those who hurt him do.

Along for the ride on this homo teen angst-fest are Roko Belic as a teen who gets kicked out of his house by his homophobic father, Susan Behshid and Jenee Gill as the lesbian couple (the only happy people here), Gilbert Luna as Steven, a wannabee filmmaker (the piece is set in L.A.), Lance May as Derik his lover and Alan Boyce as Ian, Andy's eventual lover. While the acting may be a little cumbersome at times, we eventually get to like all of these characters and want to spend our time with them. We understand their feelings and thoughts and we fit easily into their world. They remind me of my friends from when I was 18.

Araki, who has established his style before and after this film, doesn't do anything differently here. His film is low-budget looking but still has tremendous style. Using video transfer (for look as much as budget), Araki also makes this fit the story by making a character a wannabee filmmaker who shoots vids. And with title cards, industrial music, T- shirt and billboards and posters with slogans, and cinema verite camera work, Araki continues to excite us with his work. This is why he is probably the most important director of the 90's. He is fearless in his need to bring us his films and he makes his lack of budget work for him. He continually bombards us with slogans, expression and visual images that remind us of our late 20th century existence. Araki knows we understand these messages; We get it. And in our TV infested pop culture sensibilities (TV images pop up incessantly), we need to be hit over the head. Subtlety is not in his vocabulary. The closest Araki might get is having stock footage of a crashing rocket symbolism the frustration of safe sex or having his characters party in an abandoned parking garage.

Araki goes to the limit here in setting up his shots. There is always something interesting and unique to look at. Araki is not opposed to putting mannequins heads or a bombardment of bubbles in the scene to make it seem all the more engaging.

And Araki is not afraid to use color to bring us his message. Carrying over from the 80's sensibilities, color in Araki's world represents crass suburbanite capitalism and commercialism, something he dearly hates. Where others might use black and white to symbolize a drab existence, Araki uses color for the same effect. Here it represents the ignorant bliss of the straight world. Locked in this colorful world of balloons and shopping malls, neon signs and convenience stores, Araki's characters see through this rainbow-hued charade and see the world for what it really is. They don't buy into the hype.

"Totally Fucked Up" telegraph's it's conclusion to us in no uncertain terms. We should know what is going to happen. But we don't see it coming. Like the world around us, bombarded by commercials and commercialism, we don't see someone's mental breakdown coming. When it does, it breaks out hearts. We want to believe it isn't really happening. We want to believe it isn't going to happen. We hope Araki (and his character) are kidding us. But they aren't. It's disenheartening.

There will be those who don't like this film, of course, The characters do gripe a lot and they are full of angst. I find this enchanting having been one of those teens myself. Others will condemn it for again portraying gays as victims. Guess what - we are! In the terms represented here - we are! Gay teen suicide and gaybashing is as prevalent now as it was when this movie was made as it was 10 years ago as it was 20 years ago. Maybe it's beginning to change... Maybe. But those homeless gay teenagers we see every fucking day don't end up on the street because they've got loving, accepting homes they don't want to go to.

Until the day it's not needed, "Totally Fucked Up" will be around. It will still be relevant and it will still be a version of reality for all to see. I don't think that's gonna change in my lifetime.

Notes: Filmed in L.A.

AKA "Totally F***ed Up." The film has no title included on screen accept the phrase "More Teen Angst." It also is labeled as "Another Homo Movie by Gregg Araki"

Pop songs by 16 Volt, Ministry (mentioned), Unrest, Wolfgang Press, My Life with the Thrill Kill Cult, His Name is Alive, Coil, This Mortal Coil, Numb, Red House Painters, Ride, Recliner, Babyland, Pale Saints and Jesus and Mary Chain (mentioned). Also Mentioned are Joy Division, Cure, Smiths, The Cocteau Twins, Michael Stipe, Bette Midler, Nine Inch Nails, Mel Gibson, Kevin Costner and author Dennis Cooper. A Front 242 Poster is shown.

After the "Thank You's" in the end credits, there is this message: "A Big Fucking No Thanks to/ You All Know Who You Are."

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