Seems
Like Old Times (1980)
I don't even know why I'm wasting my time writing
about this movie. It's bad enough I waste 100 minutes
watching this drivel. I seem to remember this film being
pretty popular when it was released. I was in high school
at the time and it seems like I remember hearing classmates
talk about it. I can't believe any teen would even waste
his time watching it now that I've seen it all the way
through. There's no action; There's hardly even a threadbare
plot. Worse yet, the film doesn't have a single humorous
moment. Not one.
It's hard to believe Neil Simon wrote this crap. He's
pretty prolific, so I guess it's reasonable to assume
that he's going to write a few stinkers. Still, his
work here is so lame that one wonders why he ever bothered
to finish. The characters here are dull, dull, dull!
Goldie Hawn plays Glenda a do-gooder lawyer who adopts
every stray she meets, whether canine or human. Chevy
Chase is her ex-husband, a sop and a dupe. Charles Grodin
is her new husband Ira, a fussbudget with political
aspirations. Yawn. These characters are so predictable
and so sophomoric. (Gee, how can I show that Glenda
has a good heart? I know - I'll have her keep six stray
dogs in the house. And hey, that can double as comic
relief. This film practically writes itself). Worse
yet, Simon, in a throwback to the heyday of Hollywood,
uses ethnic stereotypes throughout the film for comic
relief. We get a Hispanic maid (Yvonne Wilder), a black
chauffeur (T.K. Carter), and Indians who like to drink.
Wow. If this film was released just a few years later
than 1980, there would have been massive picket lines
outside the box office.
No one in the cast helps Simon's work. Chase is cast
because he is goofy and because he can take a fall.
He fumbles and stumbles his way through the entire film
pointlessly. Hawn is supposed to be endearing but she
simply irritates us. Her endless cutesy smiles make
us gag. If that isn't bad enough, she has zero chemistry
here with both male co-star. When the film ends on it's
weird freeze-frame, we don't accept her with either
man. Apparently neither can Simon or director Jay Sandrich
as they simply leave her character hanging here. Grodin,
meanwhile, twists in the wind. His character is so trod
upon that we eventually get sick of him. "Grow a spine,"
we want to yell. We know he's useless when he allows
Hawn to keep those 6 damn irritating stray dogs for
the entire run of the film. Get those fucking dogs out
of here!!! They're bugging the crap of me!
Sandrich, for what it's worth, has had numerous successes
in television. You'll see his name associated with many
behind the scenes functions in sit-com credits, especially
from the 70's and 80's. He makes his feature film directing
debut here but he doesn't do much more than direct a
TV show. Theres nothing interesting going on behind
the camera. Not a single thing.
What more needs to be said? Neil Simon's work will
be remembered for decades. History may eventually regard
him as the greatest American comedy playwright of all
time. But only if history doesn't see this lemon. In
tended as an homage to screwball comedies, "Seems Like
Old Times" (get it?!?) is really just an homage to bad
writing, slapdash acting and racism. Ahhh, the good
old days.
Note: Also with Harold Gould, George Grizzard, and
Robert Guillaume (TV's "Benson").
Director of Photography is David M. Walsh. The 70's
California beach scene musical score is by Marvin Hamlisch.
A young Chris Lemmon has a small cameo here as a cop.
The son of Jack Lemmon, he did some TV in the late 80's.
Didn't Hawn and Chase do another movie together in
the 80's? Wasn't it a sequel?
Review written in 1995
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