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An
open sore of a film, "Running with Scissors"
oozes with everything from blood, sweat, puss
and cum, until it attempts to heal at its contrived,
unoriginal ending. For fans of the Augusten
Burroughs' memoir, which bares the same name
as this film but little resemblance otherwise,
this boring, bloated, over-acted, over-directed,
over-produced Hollywood catastrophe of a film
is like throwing salt on the wound. This film
is just awful.
How many Hollywood stars turn up for this dreck?
Too many. What the fuck are Gwyneth Paltrow,
Brian Cox, Joseph Fiennes and Gabrielle Union
doing here? These aren't actors; these are letters
that belong on a marquee in Wichita.
Ryan Murphy, who wrote and directed this pot
of rancid goulash posing as a film, works on
TV's "Nip/Tuck," which should be the first sign
that this film is going to be crap. Murphy's
biggest idea here is to infuse as much 70's
pop music into the film as he can in hopes of
creating a feeling that rivals those in the
works of Paul Thomas Anderson or Quentin Tarantino.
Occasionally this works but ultimately it all
seems so utterly forced and contrived. When
Murphy is smart enough to use "Year of the Cat"
by Al Stewart in the film's most cohesive segment,
you can almost forgive him. But then, just as
quickly, he pumps up Manfred Mann's Earth Band
doing "Blinded by the Light" during the next
"magical" sequence and the film becomes utterly
banal and insipid in the same breath.
I actually got bored in this movie. Bored! Anyone
who has read Burrough's book will be shocked
to hear that. The book is utterly captivating
and fresh and unique and amazing. This film
is the antithesis of that aesthetic.
There are things that work. For example, whoever
decorated the sets did a fabulous job. When
this film comes out on DVD, I am going to buy
it and play it with the sound down while playing
my Time-Life Best of the 70's CD Collection
at full volume on my jambox and eat a few mushrooms.
It will be cool.
Joseph Cross sure is cute and he does a good
job as Augusten in the film, but he is obviously
20 and, since he is playing someone who is supposed
to be 13, everything he is involved with seems
utterly false. At least he has exceptional chemistry
with Evan Rachel Wood and Jill Clayburgh and
so, when he is sharing a scene with them, the
film actually seems decent for a moment or two.
Clayburgh really does remarkable work with the
shit written for her character. She deserves
an award for turning this trite crap into something
resembling a real person.
Alec Baldwin plays a character that seems pretty
close to every character he has played lately.
That isn't to say he doesn't do a good job,
he does. It's just that we get nothing new from
him. Benning, meanwhile, does a decent job,
but she is not my favorite actress and this
poorly written character really needs someone
extraordinary to make it work. Benning is way
out of her league here.
"Running with Scissors" will have you running
to the box office with your ticket stub, screaming
for your money back.
Notes:
At one time Julianne Moore was attached to play
the role that went to Benning.
Cross plays in a rock band called Roostir -
originally they were called Cock, after the
first letter in each band member's name, but
changed it in order to play school functions.
Viewed in Austin in October of 2006 with Lauralee.
The audience was restless and loud all through
the film. Right after the film started, an old
couple sat down right behind us and chewed some
popcorn they had made at home. They rustled
the bag and chewed with their gaping, elderly
mouths open so loudly, that it became nauseating
and had to move to the corner. It was disgusting.
Report Card
Script:
F
Acting:
F
Cinematography\Lighting:
A-
Special
Effects\Make Up: A+
Music: C+
Final
Grade: F
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