Robots (2005)
I won't waste too much time on "Robots,"
a pointless, insipid, boring and obvious marketing
ploy masked as an animated feature. This film is just
plain bad and there's no need in spending much more
of my life talking about it.
The story, a sort of "Toy
Story" meets "The
Manchurian Candidate" and "Soylent Green" is about
as typical and dumb as it gets. Sadly, this dreck
is too stupid for adults and too sophisticated for
children. Do kid's really want to see a cartoon about
an industrial empire taken over by a ruthless leader
that turns out to be a wimpy loser with an oedipal
complex? I don't think so.
The basic idea is also flawed here
and this is obvious within the first ten minutes of
the film when the protagonist, young robot Rodney
Copperbottom, is shown to grow up by using the hand-me
down parts of his female cousin. Why would robots
utilize a physical manifestation of growing that echoes
carbon-based humans, especially when there are apparently
no humans in their universe? The answer: Because somebody
thought it would be funny to have the boy robot transgendered
for a moment and because the scripters here have no
earthly idea of how to write a decent, feasible story.
From here the story just degenerates
more and more. But it doesn't matter. We realize pretty
early on that this film is just another marketing
ploy to sell Happy Meals and action figures purporting
to be an animated feature. Even the kids can see that.
The voice work on the film is also
about as lame as lame could be. Robin Williams is
brought in to yet again bring his manic, improvisational
verbosity to a cartoon. Williams has maybe two funny
quips in the film. The rest of the cast, Ewen McGregor,
Mel Brookes, Greg Kinnear, Amanda Bynes, and Drew
Carrey are here mainly because they seem happy to
just be asked to be in an animated film. Normally,
it is an honor but this dreck is the exception to
that rule. At least Kinnear tries to do something
creative here although he's working with material
that is obviously even beneath his meager talents.
"Robots" is one of the dullest animated
films I've ever seen. It was nearly impossible to
keep my eyes open during the film. This is the kind
of Hollywood animated crap made by committee that
makes me think anime and "Pokemon" may not be so bad
after all.
Notes:
Also with the voices of Halle Berry,
Terry Bradshaw, Jim Broadbent, Jennifer Coolidge,
Lowell Ganz, Paul Giamatti, Dan Hedaya, James Earl
Jones, Jay Leno, Natasha Lyonne, Al Roker, Alan Rosenberg,
Steven Tobolowsky, Stanley Tucci, Diane Weist, Harland
Williams, and Paula Abdul.
Songs by Tom Waits and Chingy are
used.
The computer HAL of "2001: A Space
Odyssey" is referenced.
Viewed in Austin in April 2005 with
my friend Melissa and her cute little gay friend Jeff.
