The Real Cancun (2003)
“If this movie
works, I’m sure we’ll do another one next year.” -
Producer Jonathan Murray in “Variety”
Let’s start with the obvious. “The
Real Cancun,” from the makers of MTV’s “The Real World”
is pretty much like “The Real World” goes to Cancun
for Spring Break, except that it’s 16 new unknown
real people instead of real supposed people we’ve
seen on TV for weeks and weeks. (Nobody here wants
to be an actor or singer although there is one male
model). The producers lensed, edited and released
this feature film in less than 5 weeks. And it shows.
The film is disjointed and rather
dull at times. It is filmed very poorly and the DV
to 35mm film transfer looks like shit. There’s nothing
about this film that makes it necessary to be released
on film. It could have just as easily went to DVD
or to cable TV. The film does have some tits, some
ass (of both genders), lots of shirtless guys, some
mild sex and lotsa cursing. But nothing here is more
out of control than what you see on your typical “Girls
Gone Wild” video.
Which reminds me; When did girls
all start dancing like titty dancers? Really, it’s
funny. Guys still dance like idiots (white guys cannot
dance for the most part) but young white girls all
dance like complete whores. It’s revolting.
Anyway, the only reason to see “The
Real Cancun” is a little hottie named Alan. Alan goes
to Texas Tech in Lubbock and has never had a drink
in his life. He is the star of the movie. Rather than
being an uptight little church mouse, Alan lets loose
and explores alcohol and sex but does so in an honest
and charming way. He never once stops being real,
stops being himself. He is the only person in the
entire movie who is “real” in front of the cameras
the entire time he is there. Watching his “character’s”
arc over the 11 days the group is in Cancun is just
wonderful. It’s the only thing of value in the film.
There are some side stories that
are okay as well. There’s a cute couple who are just
friends who finally, for the sake of the cameras,
hook up. He is so obviously gay that this finale seems
as forced as can be. There are two African-American
males (who are friends) and one female. She proves
herself to be a fronting bitch. It’s all pretty expected
stuff. The rest of the characters, especially the
females, are relatively innocuous and drab.
“The Real Cancun” works for the
same reason the reality TV shows like “The Real World”
work. Foremost they are voyeuristic and also fantasy
oriented (who wouldn’t want to live in a loft in New
York or go on an all expenses paid 11-day trip to
Cancun during Spring Break?). This film helps to add
a hedonistic bent to the voyeurism and the wishful
thinking. The whole goal of Spring Break is to get
drunk, get high and get laid. That’s exactly what
the participants here do. It’s a celebration of life
and youth and the pleasure they embrace. Even with
all the ridiculous and contrived drama.
Notes:
With boring and pointless musical
performances by Snoop Dogg and Simple Plan.
Filmed between 3/13 and 3/23, 2003,
just one month before the film’s theatrical release.
AKA “The Real Spring Break” and
“Cancun: The Reality Movie” during production. MTV
had nothing to do with the film.
The ads for the film feature the
tag line, “The cameras aren’t the only things that
are rolling…” or something like that, implying that
the participants will be on the drug ecstasy. (“Rolling”
is a popular youth term for the experience of being
high on that particular drug). Drug use is never shown
specifically on camera or referred to in dialogue
except for briefly in passing. (In other words, the
ad copy is basically a lie).
“The Quest” (AKA “Spring Break:
The Movie”) a reality based Spring Break show of a
similar nature (filmed in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico)
is being readied for release by Universal. It is from
the producers of reality based shows like “The Bachelor.”
They had jockeyed for a Spring 2003 release of May
9th until New Line, the distributor of this film,
pushed the release of their product to April 25th
and beat them to the punch. Universal relented and
have pulled “The Quest” from theatrical release for
now.
Viewed at a promotional sneak in
Austin in April 2003. Harry Knowles and his cronies,
members of TV’s “The Reel Deal,” and Marjorie Baumgarten
of “The Austin Chronicle” were also in attendance.
The event was hosted by Kiss-FM who sent a cute female
personality and an adorable boy named Cade to do giveaways
before the film. He was dreamy.
