Hollywood Squares - The Movie.

You ever see one of those comedy movies or TV shows or whatever where a guy gets down on the lawn and sticks his face right over a pile of dog do-do for no real reason except he's stupid. And then you see a kid throw a basketball for no real reason and the basketball hits the guy in the head and his face smashes into the dog poop? Now, you know his face is going to smash into the poo. There's no other reason for him to put his face there. And there's no reason for the kid to be throwing a basketball. There's no a hoop for miles. It's stupid and contrived. But when the guy's face smashes into the dog poop, you laugh your ass off anyway. That's what watching "Rat Race" is like.

There are tons of set-ups for jokes here, some of them quite elaborate, many of them totally unbelievable and nonsensical, and yet, when the punchline/payoff comes, you can't help but giggle and guffaw and bust a gut. The movie is just damn funny, especially if you can disengage the old brain.

The premise is pretty simple. Director Jerry Zucker (still best known for "Airplane") and scripter Andy Breckman (an "SNL" alumnus) waste no time, really, setting up the dominoes and getting to some humor. Several people (some singles, some couples) are given a chance to win 2 million dollars. They are chosen at random at a Las Vegas casino and are given one of 6 keys that unlocks a locker in a bus station in a town a few hundred miles away. First one to the locker wins the money. No rules. All of this is set-up by John Cleese, as hotel/casino tycoon Donald Sinclair, who, as the house, recoups his losses by letting high rollers bet on the contestants to see who will win. The contestants, of course, don't have a clue about this.

The formula is a riff off of Stanley Kramer's classic (and much more amusing) film "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World." But, like Tim Burton's "Planet of the Apes," this isn't so much a remake as a "re-imagining" of that cinematic watershed.

The actors in the piece all add to the comic mayhem with only a few not up to par. Surely Jon Lovitz does his best comedic work since "High School High" here. He has some one-offs that are quite amusing. Likewise, the comedic pairing of Seth Green and Vince Vieluf (probably best known for his stint on TV's "ER") also inspire some wonderful goofy moments.

Here's a run down on the pairings:

Green and Vieluf are brothers. They are also cons but pretty dumb. Vieluf's character has just had his tongue pierced so you can't understand a damn thing he says through the entire movie. One really funny moment has him cursing up a storm. Since this is a PG-13 movie, he usually wouldn't be allowed to say what he says, but since you have to strain to hear him, and understand him, it's allowed. And it is funny.

Lovitz is on vacation with his wife Kathy Najimy and their 2 chubby offspring. Again, Lovitz has some of the funniest moments in the film. Najimy, unfortunately, doesn't get much to do.

Breckin Meyer (who worked with Green in "Can't Hardly Wait") plays a goody-two-shoes who almost doesn't get involved with the race. He eventually teams up with psychopath and pilot Amy Smart (whom he starred with in "Road Trip") and loosens up a bit when she takes him for a wild ride - actually several of them.

Whoopi Goldberg plays a woman who is meeting the daughter she gave up for adoption several years earlier. The two hardly know each other yet become involved in the race and share a hilarious (and somewhat politically incorrect) scene involving some mentally challenged folks.

Cuba Gooding Jr, trying to stretch his chops into screwball comedy apparently, seems pretty miscast. His story is probably the most lame here. His hijacked school bus full of Lucille Ball impersonators on the way to a convention has the most dumb, most contrived and most annoying moments.

And finally there is Rowan Atkinson. As a foreigner, Atkinson pretty much plays his Mr. Bean character with an accent. But he's funny. A sidetrip with Wayne Knight, however, isn't as funny or as realistic as it should be. It initiates with the most obvious misuse of "this could happen" when Knight, who is driving an ambulance, begins (for no good reason) to play with a human heart he is transporting to a nearby hospital. Atkinson's follow up scenes on a train are much more hilarious.

Also along for the ride is Dave Thomas (awful as Cleese's personality impaired sidekick), Paul Rodriguez (not a funny moment), Dean Caine, Kathy Bates, and lawyer Gloria Allred (over-playing herself). There is a scene with rock band Smashmouth as well that is funny as hell.

The biggest problem with the plot's set-up is that someone has to win the prize and we, the audience, want them all to win. Breckman solves this problem wonderfully with an ending that is amusing, fun and a sweet to boot. After the ending, it's impossible to not like the film.

With so many talented and funny people in the film, it would be hard not to like it. But the trailers I saw for the film made me question whether it would really be worthy or not. My fears were alleviated when it just got more and more funny as it unspooled. Sure you have to give "Rat Race" some breaks, but if you do, you'll find yourself laughing your ass off.

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