Peter Pan (2003)
P.J. Hogan's "Peter Pan" isn't as
bad as that vanity kiddie Christmas boo-boo from last
year, Roberto Benigni's "Pinocchio," but its close.
Hogan's film is a horrid mishmash of psychological
nonsense, teasing, winking adolescent sexuality that
approaches kiddie porn, CGI enhanced everythings and
a vomitous amount of color. It looks like Walt Disney
devoured a handful of crayons and puked up all over
everything.
The story here is unintelligible
making one wonder if the original source material
by J.M. Barrie was equally inept. What in the hell
is "Peter Pan" about anyway? There's some nonsense
about girls wanting to be ladies and boys never wanting
to grow up. There's some more nonsense about boys
being infatuated with pirates, Indians, forest dwelling
and swordfighting, but none of it makes any real sense
either. And Hogan's steeping of the film in pubescent
sexuality makes one wonder if maybe the film shouldn't
have been called "Sigmond Freud's Peter Pan."
So, the story is ridiculous and
incomprehensible but it looks cool right? Well, no.
Hogan infects the film with so many CGI matte shots,
so much phoney images, so many faked sets and so much
silly storybook images that the word psychedelic seems
to be inadequate to describe this film. And anyone
who thinks psychedelic is a good thing - think again.
The closest approximation I can make is to restate
my joke from the beginning (which I stole from Burt
Reynold's film "The End"): It looks like Walt Disney
threw up.
And in the age of computer generated
dinosaurs, reenactments of historical battles and
science-fiction images that boggle the imagination
with their reality, is it too much to ask for the
effect of the kids flying her to look somewhat authentic?
The effects of the (not-so) Darling children flying
here is so retro as to almost be a stylistic choice.
It looks phoney as hell, like 1982 blue screen effects.
The acting by the kids here is nice
but they are stuck in such a horrid script, we can
only feel sorry for them. Watching cute, lisping Jeremy
Sumpter's Pan make goo-goo eyes at Rachel Hurd-Wood's
Wendy is just nauseating. The only time that pre-teen
puppy love has been more insufferable is when six-year-old
Jake Lloyd had to emulate flirting with the much older
Natalie Portman in "Star Wars: Episode One" and did
so so sloppily it became disgusting and embarrassing.
This film is a close second to that depiction of inappropriate
imagery.
This version of "Peter Pan" is decidedly
for adults... Which begins to beg the question: What
kind of adult wants to see 12 year olds kissing and
flirting?
Note:
Also with Lynn Redgrave. Saffron
Burrows is the voice narrating the story. Jason Issacs
plays both the father and Captain Hook as it is a
long standing tradition with the story for a single
actor to do so.
The score by James Newton-Howard
is quite nice. The song "Clocks" by Coldplay was used
quite effectively in the film's trailer.
The third feature film of this story,
which has also seen three TV movies, one made for
video film and four TV series.
Viewed in Austin in December 2003.
