Mars Attacks! (1996)

Ridiculous sci-fi spoof from Director Tim Burton based on a series of Topps trading cards from the 60's. And while this is supposed to be campy, goofy and retro, it comes across as rather lame. Much like films that are supposed to be bad and funny, it's not. Burton relies on Industrial Light & Magic's special effects and puppetry to make the film work. What he is missing is a jokes not to mention a plot and a script. For what it's worth, the story and screenplay are credited to Jonathan Gems.

Conversely, Burton isn't missing big name talent as a whole slew of famous faces pop up throughout the film. Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Annette Bening, Pierce Brosnan, Danny DeVito, Martin Short, Sarah Jessica Parker, Michael J. Fox, Rod Steiger, Tom Jones, Paul Winfield, Jim Brown, Pam Grier, Lucas Haas, Lisa Marie, Natalie Portman, Sylvia Sidney, Christina Applegate, Joe Don Baker, Brian Haley, Brandon Hammond and O-Lan Jones all get billing before the title. Haas is the only one who comes out with anything remotely interesting in the film thanks to his humorous finale as a medal of honor recipient who gives a silly speech. It's cute and funny. And when we see a bit of romantic flirtation between him and Portman, we wish that was what the movie was about. No one else really has much to go with. Nicholson plays two characters but they are both dull. Brown and Grier give good performances, that a sure sign of a bad movie - when Brown and Grier come across better than Nicholson and Close. Steiger gets to do a bit of a spoof/homage to "Dr. Strangelove" and it works. It's just not funny. DeVito, Applegate and Haley have no character, little screen-time and no reason to even be here. For what it's worth, Winfield has the honor of being the first character killed by the Martians when they do attack.

Coming just 5 months after "Independence Day," "Mars Attacks" seemed horribly dated and out of place. Why did Burton bother? He could do something so much better. When it was all over the only thing I could think about was my desire to see Haas as a gay street hustler in "johns."

Note:

Music by Danny Elfman (who else). Tom Jones performs "It's Not Unusual" on screen and even does a bit of acting. "When I'm Calling You" by Slim Whitman plays an important part in the plot.

(Review written in 1997)

Report Card

Script: F

Acting: D

Cinematography\Lighting: C

Special Effects\Make Up: A

Music: C-

Final Grade: F