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A
Man Is Mostly Water (2000)
It takes forever for writer/director/actor Fred Parnes
to get to the fucking point in this film. "A Man is
Mostly Water" drones on and on, goes all over the map
and explores far too many nooks and crannies of it's
none too interesting characters before it finally ends
on an interesting and rather warm moment. Much of the
time building up to this little nugget of an ending,
we are annoyed. The film features ruminations on blues
music that are pointless and, well, downright pointless.
Parnes could easily cut 30 minutes out of this two hour
monstrosity and have, perhaps, a likable film.
Parnes creates a world of circumstances where three
lead male characters eventually undergo some sort of
a emotional and attitiudinal metamorphosis. But the
man behind the typewriter and the camera does not seem
to understand the basic concepts of exposition. This
being so he explores tangents that have little relevance
on the final theme, introduces new characters at weird
moments throughout the film, and never seems to be able
to get things quite right. This is a script and a film
in desperate need of two good editors.
A few recognizable actors appear in the piece including
TV's "Mr. Cooper," Mark Curry;" Bill Pullman and Lou
Rawls have what amounts to cameos. But mainly Parnes
relies on actors who seem to resemble other people.
One guy looks like SNL's Jim Breuer, another female
resembles Calista Flockhart and Parnes, himself, looks
like Stanley Tucci's younger brother. None of these
thespians are particularly good, Curry is mediocre at
best, but none of them truly embarrass themselves either.
This is the main problem with the film: More often than
not, in the hands of Parnes and his cast, the film just
sort of lays there. Like an old, lazy dog, it seems
familiar, so we are not annoyed by it. Yet often we
find ourselves questioning why we keep the damn thing
around, since it doesn't do anything but eat (up time)
and take up space.
"A Man Is Mostly Water" is mostly innocuous frivolity.
It isn't amusing, it isn't revelatory, it isn't dramatic,
it isn't troubling, it isn't insightful. It has a nice
and sweet ending but like a long road trip leading to
a neighboring planned suburb, we wonder why we bothered
to take the time to go. We've seen this neighborhood
before - and it was maintained much better on our last
visit.
Note:
Parnes had a part in "Zero Effect," starring Bill
Pullman.
Report
Card
Script:
C-
Acting: C
Cinematography\Lighting: D-
Special Effects\Make Up: C-
Music: C
Final
Grade: C-
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