Lisa
Picard is Famous (2001)
Hey, I know I can be an asshole. I know I can really,
really hate a movie and then come out spewing venomous
rage about that movie. I know I can accuse a film of
being homophobic when what I really mean is that it
plays gays as stereotypes and bad people. But "Lisa
Picard is Famous" is one of the most putrid, hideous,
vile and homophobic pieces of pure Grade-A shit to be
splattered across the cinema screen since "Cruising"
or "Boys in the Band."
A poorly made and stupid mockumentary, "LPIF" apparently
thinks it is biting black satire about the nature of
fame and homophobia in Hollywood. I'm sure that's what
anyone who has a vested interest in the film, including
openly gay actor Nat DeWolf, would try to tell you.
That's the load of bullshit, blatant lie that they will
try to sell the American public hoping some idiot somewhere
will plop down eight bucks to see the film. DON'T BUY
INTO THEIR HORSESHIT!
Griffin Dunne, an actor I've like up until now but
who now resides at number one on my "Please die in a
Horrible Car Wreck" Wish List, is the filmmaker responsible
for this crud. He plays a documantarian in his own film
(he cast himself as a caricature of himself) who wants
to capture the moment someone becomes a star on film.
That's the premise here. Dunne's filmmaker picks Lisa
Picard (Laura Kirk), a 29-year-old who has recently
had some scandal involving the racy breakfast cereal
commercial she appeared in. Part of the joke here is
that Dunne's character is kind of a leach. One of the
reasons he picks Lisa is that he wants to fuck her.
Why doesn't this work? Well, for one thing, Picard,
as Kirk improvs her, is such a stupid and ridiculously
hollow cunt that there is no chance this dimwit will
ever amount to anything. Dunne's filmmaker is either
equally as stupid or at the very least thinking with
his dick, so supposedly he doesn't realize this. That's
a huge problem with this film. Everyone in the film
is a complete fucking dolt. That is not funny. These
characters know nothing - NOTHING. It's cheap, stupid,
ineffectual filmmaking because the participants, who
seemingly improv a lot here, get to think that they
are brutally funny because they are such airheads. It's
annoying as fuck and pointless as hell. And it rings
as false as a cracked bell. This movie is just dull
and dumb.
But the true stupidity and sadness is in DeWolf's
character Tate. Performing a one man play about heartbreak
and homophobia, DeWolf's Tate actually has a scene where
his dialogue makes fun of gaybashing! That's right!
There is a scene where Tate discusses how there is a
gaybashing scene in the film and Dunne questions him
about it. He admits to never being gaybashed but says,
"It could always happen." Now he does not say this as
if it is a fact of life. As in, Yes. I am a gay man
and it is always possible that I could be gay-bashed.
The character says this in an almost hopeful, idiotic
way, as if it's some sort of sick twisted right of passage
as a gay man to be beaten up. As if it is somehow equal
to simply being discriminated against. Blech. Vile.
It is so fucking troubling to see such a heinous act
reduced to something comedic so that some fucking idiot
can get a laugh. Fuck you Nat DeWolf. You are an idiot
and an asshole and you should be shunned by all gay
men for the rest of your fucking life. Dumbass. Sell-out.
Creep. Asshole. Prick. Fucker. The hatred and anger
I have in my heart for you is only negated by the fact
that when I get mad at you and want to see you dead
- that makes me as bad as you are. You should be ashamed
of yourself for playing such a horrid, stupid gay character.
Shame shame shame! Traitor!
This film is a stupid piece of shit. Someday it will
be in a museum and young gay men will see it and the
curator will say, "Can you imagine there was a time
when gay men had such self-hatred." The boys in the
class will drop their jaws in the awe of it.
Notes:
Several actors and celebs playing themselves appear
including Sandra Bullock, Buck Henry (who is the only
funny person in the whole bunch), Carrie Fisher, Penelope
Ann Miller, Fisher Stevens, Melissa Gilbert, Spike Lee,
Charlie Sheen, Mira Sorvino, and L.M. Kit Carson.
Stevens and Sorvino are credited as "Producers."
Music by Evan Lurie. Kirk and DeWolf share writing
credits for the film.
At times the film was simply known as "Famous."
This Film Reviewed
from the 2001 Austin Film festival!
|
Report
Card
Script:
F
Acting: D
Cinematography\Lighting: F
Special Effects\Make Up: D
Music: C
Final
Grade: F
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