The
Last Hope (2001)
Embarrassing, stagnant and devoid of anything remotely
resembling humanity, "The Last Hope" is a vacant and
vapid account of people waiting on line to see "Star
Wars Episode 1 The Phantom Menace." The real menace
here is the masterbatory cinematics and puffed chest
audacity of the filmmakers. They edit and lens this
film as if it were the single most important film ever
made in the entire history of the planet Earth. It's
incredibly hard to watch because consistently, without
fail, the worst choices possible are made by the filmmakers.
The fact that we are in for a bad ride is evident
from almost the first frame. Soon after beginning, with
pompous and sluggish title cards, the film fades to
endless black while a female interviewee rambles on
and on about what we've heard so often: How "Star Wars"
is mythology, good against evil, blah blah blah. It
takes at least 20 seconds for her image to appear. The
point is obvious: The filmmakers are more interested
in proving their abilities as technocrats than creating
a interesting film. For the next 90 minutes, we are
forced to witness a 30 minute film puffed up threefold
with impossibly arrogant filmmaking.
In black and white, with numerous endless fades to
black, the film takes on an air of importance that is
neither accessible nor justifiable. It's obvious we
are going to sit through a lot of crap here when there
is a 3 minute scene, in black and white mind you, where
people eat spaghetti. Yawn.
One of the most annoying and mind-numbing aspects
of the film is the extended moments with Larry Lawrence,
an aspiring actor who may or may not be someone who
is waiting on line. Maybe he's just a hanger-on, maybe
he blew one of the filmmakers, I don't know. Lawrence,
whose mother must be an idiot savant for naming her
son Lawrence Lawrence (isn't that what Larry Lawrence's
real name would be?), grates every nerve in the viewer's
body and then begins searching on a subatomic level
for areas to scrape. It's not only pointless and boring,
it's irritating to the Nth degree. Why doesn't someone
please just kill this guy and put him out of our collective
misery. He belongs in a state home, not in a film.
Somewhere sandwiched in all of this mind-numbing boredom
is 5 or 10 interesting minutes of footage where the
idiots who are dumb enough to wait in line for 6 weeks
to see a piece of shit film have conflicts with an Internet
company, countingdown.com, who have taken over command
of the line. This stuff gets kinda interesting but mainly
it continues to point out how fucking sad and pathetic
these morons actually are. Yes, I am not a "Star Wars"
fan, but I have friends who are. Some of them are actually
intelligent and diverse people who have lives. Unfortunately,
there is no one of that caliber in this film. If your
idea of a good times is spending 90 minutes watching
ignoramuses that you would never allow into your town,
let alone your home, argue, this is the film for you.
The film is shot poorly and has awful sound. The camera
shots are shaky, poorly drawn and incredibly self-important.
To add even more confusion, there are 2 minutes of interviews
here where the filmmakers used subtitles (even though
the subjects on camera were speaking English). The whole
film should be subtitled. The filmmakers do not know
how to lens a documentary nor do they know how to get
good sound on the fly. I'm betting they never even sat
through an entire documentary before. There is no sense
of style, accuracy or skill in the shooting of the film.
This is coupled with a flamboyant and smarmy editing
style so that the whole film comes across as incongruous
as green beans in chocolate pudding.
When the wretched end of "The Last Hope" (someone
explain that title to me please) finally arrives and
the assholes we have had to endure watching for 90 minutes
finally get to see their beloved "Star Wars" film, a
woman, for some unknown reason, sings the aria from
"Madame Butterfly" accompanied by the actual stage recording
on a little close-and-play record. The filmmakers bring
the recorded version of the song up in the mix to accentuate
the inflated, supposed importance of what we are seeing.
"Madame Butterfly" is the perfect choice here, for once,
because by this point, anyone left in the theater will
surely be ready to commit hara-kiri.
Note:
Made by Kurt Volk and Chris Hrasky, the latter best
known as a member of the exceptional Austin musical
group Explosions in the Sky.
Executive Producer is Kat Candler of "cicadas"
fame.
This Film Reviewed
from the 2001 Austin Film festival!
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Report
Card
Content:
F
Completeness:: F
Cinematography\Lighting: F
Special Effects\Make Up: F
Music: F
Final
Grade: F
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