Kangaroo
Jack (2003)
It is hard to imagine a film worse
than "Kangaroo Jack" and yet, while watching it, I
couldn't have been more relaxed and entertained. I
mean, it's obvious to you when going into the movie
that you're going to see a stupid piece of shit, Maybe
that's why the film doesn't really bother you. It
lives up to every horrid expectation that you have.
But through it all Jerry O'Connell's half-smirk/half-smile
makes everything seem okay. It doesn't hurt that O'Connell
also takes off his shirt a lot in the film.
And, let's face it, O'Connell's
hottie body and cutie pie face and co-star Anthony
Anderson's goofy humor are all that this film has
going for it. Everything else is complete crap.
The plot and dialogue, by a plethora
of scripters, is just about as inane as one could
imagine. The film may be aimed at children but if
it is, it is aimed at the ones who ride the short
bus. This film is just dumb, dumb, dumb. The film
also teases with O'Connell's character's sexuality
for what initially seems like no reason at all. He
plays a hairdresser and in early scenes in the film
comes across as a homosexual. This would be all fine
and dandy if the film didn't force a female love interest
on O'Connell in its main plot. So, if O'Connell's
Charlie is straight, it seems to me, then the message
is that his hairdresser persona implies weakness and
unmanliness. This is, of course, a really shitty message
to send to kids. Of course, kids won't really get
it. Asking this film to send a message is liking asking
a dead carrier pigeon to send a message.
The film is directed so badly that
one would imagine it a made-for-video affair. There
are obvious stock shots of the locale, Australia,
and its natural settings. There are horrible edits
and continuity errors galore. Watching the war-paint
on O'Connell's body and face appear and disappear
during a scene where he strips to his shorts to go
swimming is really irritating. David McNally, the
director of this garbage, is obviously a complete
hack. I can't believe producer Jerry Bruckheimer even
allowed his name to go on this crud.
The worse thing about this film,
however, besides its homophobia and its shitty direction,
its continuity gaffs and its inane plot is the CGI
kangaroo effects. These are amazingly horrible. It
is hard to imagine anyone over the age of five finding
this acceptable as entertainment. The kangaroo here
is just lame as fuck. It's no surprise there has not
been an abundance of Kangaroo Jack merchandise sold.
This is the worst fake character to grace the silver
scene since "Howard the Duck."
"Kangaroo Jack" is an innocuous
piece of shit that somehow manages to be watchable
by the sheer charisma of its leads, O'Connell and
Anderson. And that's the facts, Jack.
Note:
Also with Christopher Walken (who
will apparently appear in anything), Estella Warren
and Dyan Cannon.
Bruckheimer insisted on the talking
kangaroo dream sequence after seeing a similar scene
in Disney's unwarranted success "Snow
Dogs."
Viewed in Pflugerville in May 2003
at the Discount Theater.
