The Judas Project (1993)
Only Hollywood could make a film about the second-coming
of Christ that is a complete and udder waste of time.
Fortunately, "The Judas Project" is so horrendously
bad - it's hilarious.
Normally, I don't like to give away anything about
the plot of a film, but this time I will make an exception.
In this film, Jesus has returned as Jesse (John O'Banion),
an egomaniacal faith healer who lives on the beach and
can summon Industrial Light and Magic from a mountaintop.
Some very influential people are interested in Jesse
but we never find out exactly who they are or what they
really want with him. Meanwhile, Jesse stays on the
beach and gathers followers and male disciples including
"Pete," a large, one- armed "Grizzly Adams" wannabee,
and "Jude," a unbeliever who swears that he is going
to make sure that Jesse takes all the power that is
offered to him.
After the set-up, this film pretty much re-tells the
New Testament. Jesse feeds the masses with 2 loaves
of bread and some cheese (that looks like it was stolen
from a mousetrap). He heals cripples and blind people.
He summons God to a mountaintop and God's thunderous
voice-over tells the disciples "THIS IS MY SON. LISTEN
TO HIM," (like he's talking to a bunch of petulant children).
He tells his disciples that they will deny him. It's
as if the scriptwriter looked at the New Testament and
realized he had "a movie that writes itself!"
Jesse, after refusing the power offered him by BIG
BUSINESS and the Church of America, is crucified and
even made to wear a crown of thorns. Gee, I guess the
all-powerful religious leader who is apparently the
head of the Church of America never read the New Testament.
He doesn't realize that this should make Jesse a martyr.
God gets so pissed-off when Jesse is crucified that
he chases the leader of the Church of America into an
old cemetery where he promptly blows the lids off the
tombs and picks up some souls - some of whom have apparently
been waiting since the Civil War for a ride to heaven.
The ending of this film is a mind-numbing 20 minute
music video that includes flashbacks of the films most
boring sequences as well as supposed flashbacks of scenes
that were not shown before. Pete, the big dumb one-armed
mountain man disciple gets clubbed by a cop during the
funeral procession - which just happens to go by the
leader of BIG BUSINESS' house - in slo-mo. Pete begs
for forgiveness and Jesse reappears (with the help of
Industrial Light and Magic again) and hugs Pete. The
syrupy-sweet yet incredibly bland 20 minute Christian
music marathon ends and the film is over.
There is no "Judas Project" at all. Jude betrays Jesse
(with a kiss, of course) for 30 pieces of silver and
then drives recklessly off into the sunset.
There is no plot here at all, only a ham-handed, poorly
acted, stupidly written absolute piece-of-shit movie
that will leave you rolling in the aisles. It rarely
gets this bad. Fans of movie "turkeys" will treasure
this film for decades to come.
Note:
This film was made in 1990 but not released until
1993. It was written, produced and directed by the incredibly
amateurish James H. Barden, who also wrote and performed
the sincerely bad musical score.
Considered one of 1993's Ten Worst Movies by Joe Leydon
of "The Houston Post," among others.
Topped Lodger's list as "The Cheesiest Film of 1993."
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Card
Script:
F
Acting: F
Cinematography\Lighting: F
Special Effects\Make Up: D
Music: F
Final
Grade: F
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