Jade
(1995)
What can be said after I tell you "Jade" is really
awful? Well, with direction, acting and a script as
bad as this, plenty. I mean, one could go on for a while
about the problems with the film. Okay - where shall
we start?
How about starting with the lousy script by Joe Eszterhas,
the guy who brought us "Basic Instinct." Here, with
"Jade," we have what is supposed to be another erotic
thriller. If this means a lot of senseless nudity, barely
enticing sexual situations and some gorey blood, then,
yeah, "Jade" is an erotic thriller. What it really is
is a cheap knock-off of "Basic instinct" that Eszterhas
probably had sitting around in his closet leftover from
being written during his college days. The script is
simply sophomoric. And the ending - P.U. Wow - no one
saw that coming. It's nothing short of stupid!
Director William Friedkin is a pretty well-known filmmaker.
He's the guy who brought us "The Exorcist" and "To Live
and Die in L.A." But it surprising he would allow his
name to appear on this film. While watching it, one
would expect the director to be listed as Alan Smithee,
the pseudonym filmmakers use when the refuse to put
their name on a product. "Jade" is that bad. It's editing
appears to have been completed by some Texan with a
chainsaw. The action scenes are nonsensical because
we can't figure out what in the hell is going on. The
camera jerks around as if the steadicam was never invented.
It's confusing and it looks horrible. Worse, yet, Friedkin
obviously knows he has a stinker on his hands because
he simply cuts the film into tiny pieces so that the
plot makes absolutely no sense. Friedkin basically gives
up after the first reel.
Friedkin's only interesting work here is in the use
of automobiles in action sequences. A chase scene through
San Francisco plays like an homage to "Bullitt." The
cars fly over the hilltops like airborne missiles. As
a male, I must admit that any car chase is interesting
to me. We guys just love to watch autos race around
and then get destroyed. But Friedkin messes with our
heads. After the most invigorating sequence in the film,
the aforementioned car chase, Friedkin has the cars
go through a Chinese parade down a Chinatown street
that plays like "What's Up Doc" on ludes! The action
comes to a standstill. It becomes mind-numbingly dull
and it goes on forever. It's so slow that we have plenty
of time to contemplate the notion that the "good guy"
is in a white car and the "bad guy" is in a black car.
If there is any consolation, Friedkin ends the scene
with the coolest car crash I've ever seen on screen
but by then, my patience had worn too thin to ever forgive
him.
Apparently realizing that they are in a turkey, the
actors in this film don't even try. David Caruso, still
trying to make a name for himself in film after stupidly
walking off the TV show "NYPD Blue," plays his TV character
here. He's the same cop. Of course, here he's supposed
to be the Assistant District Attorney, so it doesn't
surprise us that he does all the police work in the
film???? Caruso walks through this film like a zombie.
He looks half-asleep and unshaven. He has apparently
been staying up night wondering how the hell he got
here. Linda Fiorentino, meanwhile, plays the "erotic"
part of the erotic thriller angle. She never smiles,
not once. So, of course, this makes it easy to believe
she is a nympho. After all, she is a psychiatrist who
gives speeches about compulsive behavior. With a profile
like that, it's also easy to believe she works on the
board of a major art museum on the side. After all,
she only fucks every man in sight when she can find
the time. Chazz Palmintero, looking like a sausage in
a tuxedo, rounds out the trio of principles. He is forced
into the stupid finale and finds it as cramped as the
aforementioned formal wear. It's hard to believe he
finishes the film's dialogue with a straight face. Apparently
a paycheck is more important to him that appearing in
a good product.
Oh, that's enough. "Jade" isn't worth discussing much
further. It has some good special effects using automobiles
but that hardly makes a movie. The rest of the celluloid
wasted here is just tripe. "Jade" isn't jade at all;
It's a unpolished, slimy, green rock.
Note: Also with Richard Crenna and Peter Duchin and
his orchestra.
Director of Photography is Andrzej Bartkowiak. Music
by James Horner. A song by Loreena McKennitt is used
throughout the film.
Friedkin apparently inserted sparse frames of images
into the film (i.e. subliminal messages) which hinted
at the film's ending. He apparently also used this device
in his landmark film "The Exorcist" (1973). In the earlier
film, one or two frams of a "demon face" were inserted
into at least one sequence in the film. An example shown
on television was a cut from an image of an older woman
standing on a sidewalk to a shot of a priest running
towards her.
Review written in 1995
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