If Lucy Fell (1996)

"I usually read (a script) without knowing what part they have in mind for me. If I like the script, then it doesn't matter what part I play - I just want to be part of the project." - Elle MacPherson

This film, a solo offering from Eric Schaffer (his partner Donal Lardner Ward, from "My Life's in Turnaround" and their Fox TV sit-com doesn't even have a cameo here), wants to be a quirky romantic comedy. And while it's a bit quirky, thanks to the manic Schaffer and the sweet edginess of co-stars Sarah Jessica Parker, and it has comic moments, thanks to that quirkiness and Ben Stiller's funny character, it's not all that romantic. At the beginning of the movie, we know who will end up with who. And when it finally happens, it takes place in such a sophomoric and formulated manner that it totally alienates us. This seems like some script Schaffer started on in high school.

Schaffer and Parker are roomies who paint a calendar on their wall each month. It comes as no surprise to us that this large device soon becomes an integral part of the story when a death pact they agreed on in college is suddenly remembered. The two agree to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge if they aren't in successful relationship in 28 days, on her 30th birthday. But Parker is a successful therapist and Schaffer teaches art to youngsters. He's about to have a one- man-show. They have successful careers. They are even planning to open a school for children and it looks like that dream is going to become a reality. There is no reason for them to be so hopeless. It's silly.

Schaffer has secretly been lusting for the girl next door, the sexy uber-model Elle MacPherson. He has painted numerous canvases in her honor. He promises to actually meet her. Meanwhile Parker agrees to date anyone who asks and ends up with goofy Stiller, who plays a mop-topped artist named Bwick Elias. Schaffer finally meets MacPherson. I guess because these relationships seem so ideal and yet do not satisfy the roomies, they soon discover who they truly love.

Schaffer is cute here exuding that same naive yet world- weary innocence he charms us with in all of his appearances. He's always the same verbally rapid-fire guy. Parker is cute and nerdy in a sweet way but she is put through the paces by a trite relationship angle played out with her father. Schaffer's script, from a story he worked out with Tony Spiridakis, doesn't give her nearly enough room to be emotionally impacting. MacPherson must be commended for doing an outstanding job here since she actually makes us believe she likes Schaffer. He is such an unattractive dork that we can't believe she is ready to go all the way with him. When he calls it off for the most pedestrian of reasons, we are even more discouraged by the plot. It is only Stiller who makes us laugh. His character's inarticulate outburst are hilarious. Stiller doesn't do much else here but his foppish posturing accompanied by this vocal sputtering of silly ideas is enough to keep us going when we're about to give up on the film.

As for his direction, Schaffer doesn't do anything here to aid his film. The shots are laid out and executed in such a stale manner that we are very seldom impressed. A couple of shots seem interesting but they are almost always incorporated into segue material. The Art Director does a much better job, making the loft the principle's share the most intriguing area since the house in "Benny and June." Even the large re-painted wall calendar looks neat here. Of course, this is hardly enough to keep us going. *

"If Lucy Fell" isn't an awful film. It has nice moments of true quirkiness. It has humorous touches throughout. Parker is her usual likable self. It's just that we expect more from everyone involved here. Schaffer worked hard to get here and he's blowing it. We expect more and Schaffer simply doesn't deliver. This time, anyway.

Note: Director of Photography is Ron Fortunato. Score by Charlton Pettus and Amanda Kravat. Numerous songs by Marry Me Jane are used as well.

Schaffer apparently actually spied on a female neighbor for years and used this in the film. In reality, he never met the woman next door.

Review written in 1996

Report Card

Script: C-

Acting: B-

Cinematography\Lighting: C+

Special Effects\Make Up: C+

Music: B+

Final Grade: C-