House of Fools (2002/2003) (AKA "Dom
durakov")
Imagine you were trying to make
the most annoying film of all time. First, of course,
you'd have to set it in an annoying language, one
that most Americans are ignorant of, like Russian.
Then you'd have to set it in some place where there
would be lots of annoying secondary characters. You
know, like a Russian insane asylum.
But that's not nearly annoying enough.
No. You'd have to make the lead character really annoying.
Let's make her a whiny ignoramus who plays the flute...
no! The accordion! Let's make her a whiny goofball
who plays the accordion all day. And let's make her
fall in love with someone really ugly and non-photogenic.
Someone with a really ugly pock-marked face. Like
Canadian rocker Bryan Adams. And let's make her listen
to Bryan Adams' wimpiest song, "Have You Ever Really
Loved a Woman" over and over and over. GOD, THAT WOULD
REALLY BE ANNOYING.
Imagine no further - the film has
been made. And some American film distributor has
actually been stupid enough to pick it up! Paramount
Classics are the idiots who have unleashed this fingernail-on-the-chalkboard
classic on an unsuspecting public. I cannot imagine
one reason, other than the appearance of Adams, that
anyone would think this piece of crud could be a money-maker.
Fans of Adams who expect to see him do much more than
lip-sing will be sorely disappointed. Adams walks
through the film in supposedly arty dream sequences
trying desperately to allow only his "good side" to
be seen by the camera. Someone needs to be blunt and
honest and tell him HE DOESN'T HAVE A GOOD SIDE!
And there's not much else here,
really. There's some supposed historical and, I imagine,
some political significance in the fact that this
film is set when the Chechen rebels went to war with
the Russians but for those of us who don't care about
this sort of thing, the point is lost on us.
There is one good shot in the entire
film, when the lead actress sits down and a helicopter
crashes to the ground in slo-mo directly behind her.
Other than that, this film is utterly worthless.
Directed by Andrei Konchalovsky,
who made American films like "Tango and Cash" and
"Homer and Eddie," the film was submitted by Russia
for the 2002 Academy Awards. Bryan Adams fans everywhere
were surprised and grieved when it wasn't even nominated.
Nobody who likes films and enjoys keeping their sanity
was though.
Note:
Supposedly based on true events
that took place in 1996.
Released in the US in 2003.
Viewed in Austin in June 2003 at
a press sneak at the Dobie. Marjorie Baumgarten of
"The Austin Chronicle" and Corey of cable TV's "The
Reel Deal" were also in attendance. We talked a little
about "2 Fast 2 Furious" and Corey raved a bit about
the upcoming arthouse release "Together," an Asian
film, claiming, "it brought a tear to my eye."
