Get
Real (1999)
When
I was a teenager, I wrote a silly, rambling essay about
being gay. I can't even imagine what it said. I was
probably about 14. Rather than making me see the school
psychologist (I was in Iowa for Chris'sakes), my young,
progressive, female, English teacher recommended I read
a fiction book called "Trying Hard to Hear You." I loved
the book, but in hindsight it's plot seems pretty silly:
Two high school boys fall in love. They are both involved
in a summer school production of "Guys and Dolls" and
when their fellow teenager actors find them out, two
of the females agree to try and seduce the boys. It's
the old "They just need a good woman" idea. Of course,
one couple gets drunk and has a car accident and one
of the boy dies. The other is let alone without his
true love, due to the misguided interference of straight
people.
Silly, sophomoric, pedestrian, teen-angst junk. Right?
The same can be said for "Get Real." Based on the stage
play called "What's Wrong with Angry?" by Patrick Wilde
(God, let's hope no relation to Oscar), the film should
be called "What's Wrong with Angst?" Of course, nothing's
wrong with it, except that it's been done much better
by a lot of other gay writers and directors. This piece
of fluff moves at a snail's pace (100 minutes seems
like 3 freaking hours) and seems more like an ABC "After
School Special" than a real film. It's chief interest
lies in watching young actor Ben Silverstone's beautiful,
full lips twitch. Usually, they flair to show the most
adorable set of teeth you've ever seen on an English
boy or the cutest smile imaginable.
Silverstone plays 16 year old Stephen Carter. Surprisingly,
the boy knows he's gay and even hangs out in public
toilets to have sex with older men! While this is daring,
the film soon evolves into an archetypal gay coming-
of-age flick where Stephen falls in love with the rather
dull school jock (Brad Gorton) and then has to put up
with the old "Don't tell anyone" syndrome. Why doesn't
cutie Stephen just tell Johnny the Jock to fuck off?
He's much to smart too fall for this silly posturing.
Also, Silverstone and his co- star have absolutely no
chemistry together. There ain't a spark in sight. Worse
yet, they meet in a public toilet when Jock-boy propositions
young Stevie. Later in the film he will try to say he
has no experience with other guys? In the closet and
a liar!
Still, Silverstone is nice to watch. He looks awesome.
The film finds him, in addition to quivering lips,
sporting his English schoolboy tie and jacket throughout
most scenes. What chickenhawk uniform fetishist doesn't
enjoy seeing this "drag" on teenage boys? Too bad we
never get a music video of the boys hanging out in slo-mo
to trance music. At least the young men in the film
often walk around with their ties loosened and swaying.
Yum! Also, Silverstone is shown shirtless a few times
and his Anna-Rexic lithe frame is quite nice to view.
His acting is admirable even if he follows the lead
of the script and wrings tons of anguish out of every
dramatic moment, whether it warrants it or not. Unfortunately,
he is oft times forced to mouth lines that are utterly
ridiculous, such as when he tells his jock boyfriend
that he couldn't live in his home with him because,
"The wallpaper clashes with the carpet." Uck.
If "Get Real" has any merit, and it does have some,
it is in it's ability to make us question why these
"coming out" stories are so important to our gay culture.
They are "our" stories. It is the defining moment in
a gay person's life. This story is so typical, I guess
it has to be told. It's too bad we can't have it told
with style and flair. This film is so drab and so listless,
one assumes it was made by straight people! The script
even ends with young Stephen coming out to his whole
school at an Awards presentation where his friends,
enemies (the school jock bullies), parents, lover, lover's
parents, classmates and teachers are all in attendance.
Ugh - how pretentious, contrived and improbable. Worse
yet is the overwrought music by John Lunn which
pumps every moment into hyper-dramatic-intensity whether
it needs it or not.
There's a scene toward the end of the film where Stephen's
fag-hag "girlfriend" (i.e. friend who is a girl) (Charlotte
Brittain) calls him a "drama queen." Too bad this film
is more heavy on the drama than the realism.
Notes: Directed by Simon Shore who won a couple of awards
for the film in European film festivals.
Placed in General Release in the USA in 1999.
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Report
Card
Script:
D-
Acting: C+
Cinematography\Lighting: C+
Special Effects\Make Up: C
Music:
F
Final
Grade: C-
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