Lensed (and written) by Christian Drew Sidaris, "The Dallas Connection" acts as an homage to the director's dad, a director himself, Andy Sidaris, the maker of such schlock T&A cable fodder as "Picasso Trigger" and "Hard Ticket to Hawaii." In fact, the younger Sidaris opens the film with the same stock footage clip of the Eiffel Tower that dad used in "Picasso Trigger" just 5 years before. Also echoing that film are the use of remote control cars as bombing devices; the use of Texas, Louisiana and Paris as locales; the use of expensive cars and opulent surroundings; and, of course, the profusion of silicon injected titty models as secret agents with obvious code-names who are found to have double crossed each other in the plot's finale. Dad always did know how to make a great movie!

But the younger Sidaris offers up much more than daddy ever did. For one thing, the adolescent auteur has a greater sense of how absurd these films are; He seems to get the idea that they have some camp value. But in true camp tradition, he rarely mocks his own film. The humor here comes from watching the really bad actors in the film struggling to deliver their lines seriously. And here, Sidaris somehow makes their delivery even more deadpan and more hilarious. And to make it more fun, Sidaris has some minor characters attempt South African accents in the film. Luckily they have only a few lines. He also casts an actor who appears to have spent millions of dollars on diction lessons. Watching this guy enunciate becomes mesmerizing. He goes one step further and actually includes one real joke in the film. (In it, a cop asks for more tape. You've got to see it)!

Also in comparison to daddy: On the minus side, the younger Sidaris relies even more on stock footage to set locales in the film. We are treated to endless shots of African wildlife early in the film long after we know we're in Africa; (A title card tells us also). Sidaris seems to use this footage simply to add to the film's running time. But on the plus side (for some, anyway) Sidaris also elongates the film by really lingering on the bare breasts of the titty dancers in the cast. He does this in fairly stylish and erotic ways as well. There are a few segments that really look magnificent such as a hot tub sex scene and the mild B&D segment that opens the film. Sidaris seems quite at home bringing this erotic soft-core to the screen.

The elder Sidaris (and wife? Arlene) act as producers and help the neophyte director tap some of the same actors who've appeared in dad's films to appear in his film. Bruce Penhall, who also worked in the elder's "Picasso Trigger," "Do or Die" and "Savage Beach" gets top billing here. Rodrigo Obregon, who likewise starred in three of dad's films ("Hard Ticket to Hawaii," "Savage Beach," and "Picasso Trigger"), also gets a fairly meaty role. But, of course, the buxom models of dad's movies are starting to sag now so the younger Sidaris imports a whole new slew of tits. Julie Strain, Sam Phillips, Julie K. Smith, Wendy Hamilton, and Kym Malin all get screen time here and almost all of them expose their firm upper half throughout the film. The younger director seems to have dad's eyes for the ladies. Meanwhile, young studs, of course, must be found to acts as oglers and seductees here and Mark Berriere, Tom Abbott and Ron Browning all play along side Penhall. There, of course, has to be a martial arts type kick fight in the film and Gerald Okamura steps up for the duty; The usually omnipresent Harold Diamond must have been busy. The younger Sidaris follows his father's precedent and casts a bunch of no-name yet model-esque types (both male and female) to populate the film. We never get tired of looking at the cast.

Some other notes on the cast. Cassidy Phillips, who plays Platter Puss, usually has only one word of dialogue if he's in a scene, "Cool." Apparently he was too busy handling his duties as Assistant Director to learn anything more complex. Meanwhile, Sidaris also casts the Executive Director of the Shreveport/Bossier (Louisiana) Film Commission, Betty Jo Lebrun, in a tiny part here. The Sidaris' have filmed most of their "epics" in this area and one must assume that they have called upon Lebrun (and her predecessors) many times to aid them in their life's calling. Here, they payback the favor. Sidaris also uses David E. White, in a security officer's uniform, in a couple of shots. My guess is he was either doing security for the film or for the airport, where the scenes take place, and the young director simply called upon him to come into the shots. The elder officer only ad-libs a couple of "yeses" while in frame.

The plot of "The Dallas Connection" is another hodgepodge of B movie cliches featuring buxom secret agents infiltrating diabolical organizations bent on world domination. Here, computer chips and space technology play into the story (with a ridiculous use of a meteor shower in the explanation)! But it doesn't really matter. We are only watching this film for 1 of 2 reasons, either the camp value or the tits. Drew Sidaris proves himself more capable of fulfilling our desires for these cinematic elements with his film than his father ever was during his career. "The Dallas Connection" is a great cheesy film full of half-naked vixens. Fans of the campy genre will thoroughly enjoy it.

Notes: Also with William Fain.

Produced by Skyhawks films. Note that this is also the name on the antique race car used in the film.

The filmmaker splits up his name to receive two on screen credits. The scriptwriter's credit is given to Christian Sidaris. The Director's to Drew Sidaris.

Music by Ron DiIulio. Director of Photography is Mark Morris. Special Effects by David Glass and William Alberta.

The Nepotism Factor: In addition to the aforementioned use of Mom and Dad (?) for Producers, the film also credits "Samantha Maxx's jewelry by Alexa Sidaris." (Maxx is a character's name in the film).

Other credits: "Lingerie and Adult Marital Aids by Doc Johnson Enterprises." "Additional Footage by Larry Dorn Associates."

Locales in Shreveport used in the film include Louisiana Downs (a horse-racing track), Cowboys (a nightclub), and Gold's Gym.

Review written in 1996

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