Circuit
(2001)
"Valley of the Guys"
Like the trashiest gay novel you've ever read; "Circuit"
is one of the most elongated, ridiculous and stupid
movies to be seen. Running over 2 hours, the film is
nothing more than a gay soaper set in LA with pretty
boys posing as cops, hustlers, DJ's and filmmakers.
There are so many ridiculous interconnected stories
going on here that it would be impossible to keep up
with them all, except for the fact, of course, that
they are all so stupid, typical, sophomoric and standard
that even an idiot with an IQ over 20 can get it.
First there's the cop who gets outed at his job. He
runs to LA where he quickly gets caught up in parties,
drugs and body building. The cop goes to la-la-land
because he has a cousin there, a younger guy who is
a wannabe documentary filmmaker. The filmmaker lives
with an older guy, a construction worker but they have
just broken up and now the younger guy is dating a rave
DJ. (Geez - this is starting to sound like "The Village
People: The Movie"). Anyway, part of this story, hence
the title of the film, is about "circuit parties." A
friend of mine described a "circuit party" for me as
a "gay rave." That seems to be pretty much what they
are. You know, I remember when they used to be called
nightclubs. I remember when you didn't have to go to
some "event" party to get high, hang out with pretty
boys, and have fun. Now it costs hundreds of dollars
and you better bring a lot of drugs.
As for plot, there is more: There's the guy who runs
the raves and his wife. The rave promoter has a life
insurance policy out on a HIV positive "performer" know
for his horsecock. The cop meets the cock through a
pretty boy hustler who only has sex for money. Then
there's the female stand-up comedian who knew the cop
in college. She moves in with him and begins to date
an egghead lawyer.
There are cameos from 3 openly gay minor celebs: Jim
J. Bullock, Bruce Villanch and Joel Brooks. Bullock,
for what little screen time he has, is awesome. Villanch
is basically playing himself and is amusing. Brooks
is in a tiny scene that is so poorly written as to be
trite. These guys must have owed someone a favor.
Some big time names appear in the film in larger roles
as well. Nancy Allen is in there somewhere. William
Katt is unrecognizable as the rave promoter. He looks
like Marty Ingalls. He has not aged well. Paul Lekakis,
who had a huge dance hit with "Boom Boom Boom (Let's
Go Back to My Room)" in the 80's, plays the cock. He
looks like Val Kilmer. The guy who plays the main character,
the cop, Jonathan Wade-Drahos, probably gets mistaken
for Jim Carrey often. He even has many of the mega-star's
mannerism and facial expressions, in addition to his
thin gaunt frame.
The writing in this film is really bad with much of
the dialogue being laugh-out-loud funny. In one scene,
the female stand-up is on stage and in the middle of
her set, which is pretty damn funny, she looks out at
the cop in the audience, points and says, "Oh. I know
you. I know him." As if any amateur would not know better
than to do this. It's not only horribly false; it is
unnecessary. There is no reason for her to stop mid-joke
and announce this.
"Circuit" wavers like an open circuit throughout it's
running time. Eventually, of course, it comes to a "final"
party where all of the tangent storylines are kinda
tied together. Of course, there are several elongated
and dull plot points cranked out getting there. Often
"Circuit" is a compelling look at beautiful men involved
in the communal experience of living in openly gay LA
and going to raves. Some scenes, as when the hustler
masturbates while kissing himself in the mirror, are
visually stunning and breathtakingly erotic. These,
however, are too often in the midst of some really bad
B-movie, trashy, moments. Watching the ex-cop and the
hustler make love while an elderly rich trick watches
is just boring and tired. And while much of the plot
is typical and trashy, we occassionally get something
we have not seen before. The rave promoter, for example,
has taken out a life insurance policy on the performer
suffering with AIDS. When the performer gets better,
he wants his money back. That seemed surprisingly daring
and bold.
However, when you find out that the film was written
and directed by an ex-"Playgirl" centerfold, Dirk Shafer,
suddenly what goes on in the film makes sense. "Circuit"
is about as empty headed as one of the beefcakes in
a soft core porno. In fact, "Circuit" is nothing more
than a soft core gay porno. Expect to see it on Skin-a-max
within weeks.
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Report
Card
Script:
D
Acting: C-
Cinematography\Lighting: C
Special Effects\Make Up:
C
Music: B+
Final
Grade: D
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