Camp (2003)
"(Stagedoor
Manor allowed for) the glorious realization that there
was an outlet somewhere for all the drama you felt
overwhelmed by in middle school." - Writer/director
Todd Graff in "Film" magazine
"An honest to goodness, red-blooded,
all-American straight boy," an adult at the musical
summer "Camp Ovation" calls Vlad. Daniel Letterle
plays the heterosexual character quite convincingly...
FOR ABOUT FIVE MINUTES. And then we see he is a hopeless
little closet case. Sadly, the film carries through
with the idea that he is heterosexual until the Godawful
conclusion of the film. And like "Billy's Hollywood
Screen Kiss," we get a realistic, un-fucking-fulfilled
gay sexual obsession/love story. WHO THE FUCK WANTS
THAT?
Goddammit - I go to gay movies to
see the cute, hopeless little homo boy get to fuck
the straight boy! That's a happy ending baby, and
that's what I want from my gay movies! Not some realistic,
ends in heartbreak bullshit. Of course, writer/director
Todd Graff thinks he's being clever here by having
the straight boy try to sleep with the cute, awkward
gay boy who soundly rebuffs him. Why? We're supposed
to believe Michael (Robin de Jesus), the homo boy,
is a better person because he doesn't fuck the straight
boy? This is bullshit! Get Real!
I've fucked my share of straight
boys (and I'm using the term "fucked" loosely - no
pun intended) and, for me, that's just a part of the
sexual experience of being a gay man. This film wants
you to believe its heartfelt and warm and honest and
real when in fact, much like its character of Bart
Hanley; its bitter, vile and spit-in-your-face cynical.
Hanley, mid- film, before his excruciatingly bad conversion
to happy camper, tells a female teenager "Teenage
fag hags grow up to be adult fag hags" and then looks
at a gay boy and says, "Straight boys aren't going
to convert just because you need to feel loved." We're
supposed to forgive him this inexcusable outburst
because he is being honest and thinks the kids need
that and also because he has a conversion to happiness
later? Fuck that! Those are vile and disturbing sentiments
and ones that are also - NOT TRUE!
Maybe my idea of a "fag hag" is
different from this movie's but being one is not a
put-down. Thank God young women who make friends with
gay guys continue to love them and accept them as
they become adults. What's wrong with being a fag
hag? Absolutely nothing! Even if you're a straight
female hopelessly in love with a gay boy! Good for
you! There's nothing wrong and no shame in loving
anyone!
And guys who identify as "straight"
sometimes DO sleep with gay boys - simply because
they love the gay boys as friends and know that everyone
needs to feel loved and they want to make their friends
happy. This isn't a pity fuck or a "conversion," this
is simply two men expressing their honest love for
one and other in a sexual way - whether one identifies
as straight or gay. Again... WHO CARES! I have had
intimate relationships with a few guys who considered
themselves "straight" simply because they liked me
and wanted to express that emotion for me in the way
I wanted. That's reality baby, not this film's weak-willed
attempt to glorify a little cute gay boy because he
says "no" to the adorable closet case who offers himself
up to him. That's just stupid!
Putting my obvious vile discontent
with the films themes aside, "Camp" is still not a
great movie. It's supposed to be a fun-loving and
"campy" (hence the title) look at a summer camp for
kids interested in acting and theatrics. With young
teens doing scenes from Chekov and O'Neil and Albee,
the idea is that this would be fun and amusing. It
isn't. I was hoping the film would sort of be a gay-friendly
"Wet, Hot American Summer" with a bit of "Fame" thrown
in to make it all fun. It's nothing like that. We
know we're in trouble from the first scene when Vlad
shows up for the summer camp and his cabin mates are
all a bunch of limp-wristed teenage stereotypes who
throw flimsy, sheer scarfs over the lamps - because
- you know - that's what gay guys do. It supposed
to be funny because the character who does it is a
teenage boy. It isn't. It's stereotypical, homophobic
crap!
Since so much gay youth is involved
in the film, there's got to be some killer singing,
dancing and acting in the film, right? Nope. The musical
numbers here are horrible and a gay male never once
gets to take the lead in any of the musical numbers,
dance scenes or acting. The musical numbers are, generally,
sung by big-voiced, African-American, teenage girls
(divas in training - talk about stereotypical!) It's
Godawful. This is the kind of stuff that makes "American
Idol Junior" seem like entertainment by comparison.
"Camp," as a title, is a real misnomer.
Even when the kids do scenes from Stephen Sondheim's
"Company" and Albee's "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?"
there's nothing campy going on here. This film really
blows - and not in a good way - not like me with a
cute little straight boy within his grasp.
What a huge disappointment.
Notes:
Sondheim has a cameo as himself.
Produced by Christine Vachon's Killer
Films, which has rarely made a misstep this horrible.
Todd Rundgren's "For the Want of
a Nail" is turned into a musical number in the film.
Based on a real place, Stagedoor
Manor, in upstate New York. Graff worked there. The
film was also shot there.
The film premiered at Sundance.
Viewed at the very first "public"
showing in Austin on Friday, August 15th, at noon
at the Dobie.
