The problems of poor little rich white boys.

We've seen this film a million times. What was the one with Adam from the Beastie Boys in it? "Lost Angeles" or something? And that one with Joey Gordon-Leavitt... "Manic." Teenage white boys in juvy and therapy and how it messes them up more than helps them. A Young One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. It's time to retire this genre. Hell, it's time to retire the whole "teen angst" genre. After "The Ice Storm," and "Thumbsucker" and "Chumbscrubber," I'm done.

Here, adorable little Michael Angarano (he plays Jack's son on TV's "Will and Grace") plays Charlie, who is sent through the California juvenile penal system that has him going from juvy to a juvy psych ward to a cushy psych ward. All along the way, adults are portrayed as idiots and the other kids are shown to be fucked up - much more fucked up than our hero. And through flashbacks we see just how fucked up poor little Charlie's home life is too. His mom is played by the always wonderful Illeana Douglas who has her first dog of a role in years. She plays a sort of Annette Benning in "American Beauty" meets Tilda Swinton in "Thumbsucker." The dad is played by TV actor Eric Lange. (He's made up to look like John Ashton of the "Beverly Hills Cop" film series). Mom goes to a seminar given by Andy Dick on how to control your rebellious teen while dad just wants to take a shower with him.

I watched this movie at SXSW and when the dad asked the teenage son to take a shower with him the girls in the audience sighed "awwww" and cooed just like they did when they heard Sal Mineo was arrested for killing puppies when I saw "Rebel Without a Cause" last year at the Paramount on a double bill with "East of Eden."

Girls are dumb.

I won't go on and on about how bad this movie is and how difficult it is to care about the characters. This film just gets sillier and sillier as it goes along and even though the opening credits suggest it is "based on a true story," the amount of naivety it takes to believe anything that goes on here requires the viewer to be an actual fetus. After you've drawn a few breathes on planet Earth, it's easy to discern just what a load of malarkey "Bondage" really is. This is the kind of film that seems written by a young, hip, rich kid who not only goes to Sundance for the film festival, he goes there on skiing trips too. What the fuck would a guy like that know about real life?

To quote X-Ray Specks, "Oh Bondage, Up Yours!"

Notes:

Also with Griffin Dunne, Evan Ellingson, and Mae Whitman.

The director and writer, Eric Allen, has a cameo as a crazy man brought into a mental hospital in a straight-jacket.

Ugh... Michael Angarano Sr. is listed as a producer. 'Nuff said?

At least the fourth film to have this title.

The song "Rhinestone Cowboy" by Glen Campbell is used frequently in the film including being sung by Angarano. "A Horse with No Name" by America is also sung by a character.

Report Card

Script: F

Acting: A-

Cinematography\Lighting: B+

Special Effects\Make Up: B

Music: C

Final Grade: F