The Banger Sisters (2002)
"The Banger sisters" is a horrid
and contrived piece of shit directed by a hack. And
yet... I really enjoyed it. It survives solely on
the charm of its two older female lead actresses,
Goldie Hawn and Susan Sarandon.
Hawn is the real star of the movie
as she opens the piece. Also, her character acts as
a catalyst for everything that goes on. She starts
as a hottie older woman named Suzette who works at
the Whiskey-a-Go-Go in L.A. and gets fired. She decides
to visit her old groupie buddy Vinnie (Sarandon) in
Phoenix. On the road, she picks up an aging writer
with OCD, played by Geoffrey Rush.
And here's the first problem in
the film; It takes her forever to get to Phoenix and
hook up with Sarandon. This whole sideline storyline
with Rush is just pointless and hackneyed. We have
a far better time watching her hook-up with staid
Vinnie, who has left her groupie days behind to become
a respected lawyer's wife and mother of teenage daughters.
When Sarandon finally lets her hair down (or, to be
more precise, chops it off) and her and Goldie hit
the town, the film really gets interesting. And when
the duo finally gets high and really randy and whips
out their collection of Polaroids of rock star's cocks,
well, the film becomes hilarious and delightful. This
takes way too long. Of course, Suzette's influx of
truly edgy living brings Vinnie and Rush's Harry out
of their self-constructed cells and back into real
life. That's a given. We knew that was going to happen
when we bought our tickets, or at least after the
opening credits.
Hawn is simply golden here (perhaps,
hence the name). We actually envision her as the older
version of Kate Hudson's Penny Lane from Cameron Crowe's
"Almost Famous." (Hudson is, of course, Hawn's daughter
in real life). She looks gorgeous. I don't know if
she's had "work" done and I don't care, she looks
fucking awesome. I'm gay and I wanted to fuck the
shit out of her. She was just glowing in this role.
She has a lot of sexy shots in the film and even with
her hands, which look old, and a few liver spots here
and there, Hawn was as sexy as hell. Jesus. This is
her film all the way. Sarandon and Rush are simply
there for her to react off of, and vice- versa. Goldie
is the sun here.
As for Sarandon, she does a fine
albeit typical, job. Her performance is exactly what
we expect it to be. Rush, however, has to do an American
accent and it is annoying as hell. He does an okay
job but we never forget it is Rush acting on the screen.
He never becomes a character. Of course, the character
is a contrived piece of shit, anyway. Why an actor
of Rush's caliber chose this film is anyone's guess.
Well, he does get to have a sex scene with Goldie
Hawn. Maybe he actually paid them to be in this film.
"The Banger Sisters" is written
and directed by Bob Dolman. He's a hack. Every single
time he gets some momentum going in the film, he does
something totally stupid to fuck it up. The most glaring
example of this is when Hawn and Sarandon finally
go out on the town and dance to Talking Heads' "Burning
Down the House." (I haven't heard this song in a club
in over 10 years). Just when the film starts to get
fun and hip and cool, Dolman segues into a horrible
modern song that is mellow and pale and dull as fuck
while the camera circles the leads as they dance and
laugh in slow-mo. It is almost a romantic moment but
it is so wannabee and so saccharine, it sucks.
And what's up with the music in
this film? These women are old 70's groupies; where's
the old 70's rock on the score? There is almost none.
The crappy, sappy modern ballads that make up the
music here are perhaps the most lame, most ineptly
used, most boring soundtrack songs to be heard this
year. Whoever the Music Consultant on this film was,
he or she should have been fired. He or she sucks.
There is the aforementioned Heads' song and the Doors'
"Crystal Ships" and that's it. The rest of the album
is like watered-down stuff that even your local "Mix"
radio station wouldn't play on a dare. It's all so
horrible.
And yet, I laughed my ass off at
this film. I wanted to give Hawn a big kiss and hug
(and feel her up a little). I wanted to smile at Sarandon
and have a cup of coffee with her. I really liked
"The Banger Sisters." Sometimes it just isn't about
story or script or acting or direction or music; It's
about hanging out with old friends.
Note
Also with Erika Christensen, Robin
Thomas, and Sarandon's real-life daughter Eva Amurri.
The writer/director of the film
and its two stars share something in common, they
are all "married" to people in the business. Dolman
is married to comic actress Andrea Martin. Hawn has
a relationship with actor Kurt Russell and Sarandon
with actor/director Tim Robbins. Also a coincidence?
Both of these actresses are not legally married to
their long-time spouses.
During the scene where the leads
look at the Polaroids, the actresses thought they
would be blank pictures and when they turned out to
be real photos, they were surprised and much of their
dialogue during the scene is ad-libbed.
"The Banger Sisters," as a name,
may be somewhat based on the real-life Plaster Casters,
a group of San Francisco groupies who, in the 60's
and 70's, made plaster molds of rock star's cocks.
The Plaster Casters even had a record album at one
time.
This film starring Hawn opened on
the same weekend as her daughter Kate Hudson's latest
film, "Four Feathers." Meanwhile, in some markets,
I believe, Sarandon opened against herself with this
film going up against "The Moonlight Mile."
