Note to New Readers: This review contains spoilers and foul language. If you don't want to know about this film, don't read the review. Duh! If foul language offends you, don't read this fucking review!

Billy Bob Thornton should put a disclaimer up on this film: "Hey, I did some good work here, so I don't want to take my name off of this, but they've made me cut the fuck out of it. Sorry."

Someone, somewhere - some money-grubbing Hollywood asshole should be slapped senseless. He's made Thornton take what is an obvious masterpiece and cut it into the Reader's Digest Condensed Version of a film - or maybe that should be the Holiday Movie Blockbuster Condensed Version. Thornton must have wanted to kill someone at some point.

He gets his revenge by setting up the film in the first 45 minutes to be a masterpiece, a leisurely paced, interesting, complex, wonderful film. And then he rushes through the next hour or so like a man possessed. Sometimes he cuts entire scenes, entire moments of exposition, down to a single look, a glance, a line of dialogue, a single shot. It gets irritating. This might have worked better if he had established such a pace at the beginning of the film, but he does not. So the set-up and the, supposed, payoffs do not match up.

The film begins with Matt Damon and Henry Thomas agreeing to go to Mexico. They want to continue to be real cowboys. It's 1949. There should be some explanation in the film here of the times, some subtle reminders that Damon and Thomas are the last of a dying breed: The American Cowboy. There is not. So our sense of the history in this film must be exposed through our own history. We have to snap to this thought on our own. Those folks under 30 will be pretty clueless to this. Their loss.

Thomas and Damon meet Lucas Black early in their trip south and the next 45 minutes are some of the most wonderful and delightful screen moments of male bonding to be seen in quite a while. There's all kind of dynamics going on here. Damon as protector of the younger Black, Black as an interloper disturbing Thomas' relationship with Damon, Thomas' subtextural "love" of Damon that may or may not border on the homosexual, Black's history, Black's problems, Black's wonderful character exposition. If the whole fucking movie was about these three guys, it would be a masterpiece. Where this part of the storyline goes is nothing short of wondrous and the changes marked in Damon's character because of his meeting Black are phenomenal, the stuff of novels and classic Westerns. This is an awesome story.

Of course, I'm gay. And, of course, this main crux of the film is generally treated like the subtext.

Next, there are further scenes of Thomas and Damon as old friends which focus on their cowboy abilities. This is one of the finest Westerns to be made post 1970. At least, the first hour of the movie is. Then it gets ugly.

A minor part of the story is Damon's romance with Penelope Cruz. This is important for only one single plot-point later down the line. If Thornton would have cut all of this lovey- dovey mumbo-jumbo out of the film, it still would have worked. Instead, he rushes through it like a filmmaker with a brand new editing program. Hence, this supposed grandiose "love" becomes little more than a fling. And instead of being the great "drama" and reasoning for what happens to Damon, it becomes a mere speed bump in the story. We never believe Damon loves Cruz. We have no story or exposition to show us this. So when he returns to her later in the film, it is unfathomable to us. Why would he do such a thing? And Cruz's sense of "honor" and such at the film's supposed climax is equally unbelievable. It's all forced, poorly written, poorly executed bullshit. Tripe.

There are also scenes in a Mexican prison that ploop out like sour cream dropping out of a taco... Bloop - Damon and Thomas are carted off to prison. Bloop - there is a hierarchy in prison. Bloop - Damon refuses to buy into this hierarchy. Bloop - people want to kill him. Bloop - he must defend himself. Bloop... so much plot on the cutting room floor.

Thornton is a badass and he proves himself to be an awesome director here. But like a cowboy, he must have free reign. If you try to break him, he will buck. His long, lingering expansive shots of prairie and open blue sky are beautiful. Not since "Dances with Wolves" has the Cinemascope screen been used so perfectly to film the beauty of nature. When we see how Thornton films the vast expanse of the landscape, we immediately understand Damon's wanderlust. We don't need that exposition about why Damon and Thomas are willing to hock their lives to be cowboys. It makes perfect sense to us.

But, as the director, Thornton also has problems here. A bronco busting scene featuring his adult male stars is obviously polluted with stunt doubles in the medium shots. He also fills the latter scenes in the film with weird and goofy "arty" moments. We would be better served by the removal of these and the appearance of more coherent story and exposition earlier in the film. He also can't seem to overcome the tone of the script, based on a novel, and his transition from cowboy "buddy" flick to Mexican prison movie (imagine "The Cheyenne Social Club" turning into "Midnight Run") is far too depressing and radical a change. We go from chuckling with delight to having nausea. It makes for an uncomfortable last half of a film. What works in novels does not always work on the screen.

The best part of the film, of course, is the acting of the three major male stars. Damon is a badass. No question. He rocks here. Thomas finally gets a chance at a role that is as meaty and interesting as that of Elliot in "E.T." 20 years ago. Thomas' work will largely be ignored because it is so subtle and so quiet. But make no mistake about it, he is pitch perfect here. He contributes as much as Damon does, if not more. But the real star and most important cast member of the film is Lucas Black. This little some-buck is a rock star of the highest magnitude! This guy is a massive talent bursting to get on screen. His young character Blevins aches with history, pathos, bravado, spit, vim and a human brilliance that radiates warmth and humor. He is the glue that holds together the film. Watching this young actor work here is nothing short of enthralling. When is someone besides Thornton going to give this little badass a chance to rock the cinematic world? He has got performances in him that his work here only begins to unmask. Watching him evolve and work as an actor as time progresses will truly be one of the greatest experiences of our lifetimes.

"All the Pretty Horses" will make a shitload of money when it's released on Christmas day, 2000. And in a industry based on bank, not on art, that may makes it a good film. When Thornton's 4 hour cut is released to the world one day, on DVD or cable or whatever, we will finally get to see what an "artist" the director truly is. Right now he's just "bankable." Perhaps instead of insisting that his name be taken off, he should have asked for a title change. "All the Pretty Horses..." fuck that... This is more about "All the Pretty Dollar Bills."

Note:

Also with Ruben Blades, Robert Patrick, Bruce Dern, Sam Sheppard.

Script by Ted Tally. Based on the novel by Cormac McCarthy.

Filmed mainly on the Gallagher Ranch in Texas.

Personal Note:

This sneak preview I saw of this film in Austin was introduced by former Governor Ann Richards. She gave a wonderful speech about how great it is to have movie companies come to Texas to film. Perhaps now that George W. Bush is out of the state, she's thinking of a comeback. It would surely be no problem for her to beat Rick Perry for the seat next election.

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