They played the films in a different order this time and the GYM Project one was 2nd, so I didn’t have to worry about coming after it like when it showed in July. (see Notes from Austin 2002 #? – and Agliff Shorts for more info) But, my film also ran second to last, so every time a new film would start, I had to flinch and prepare that it would be mine, several times, it wasn’t. That was pretty stressful. But this time when it ran it also seemed much better and there were even a few chuckles in the audience here and there.

Jan had to go run some errands and my roomies went back to the apartment. Melissa and I went to Threadgills for lunch. Our friend Dusty was supposed to come to MGM but he overslept, so we called him and he joined us at Threadgills. I was feeling pretty good about the fun night we had had the night before at Boyz Cellar when Dusty regaled us with stories of his weekend trip to Dallas and hanging out with cute guys and getting felt up and stuff. It made me depressed. But Dusty is cute and sweet, so seeing him and hearing his stories is cool. He wants desperately to be debauched, and he’s really cute, so he could probably get laid anytime, anywhere, any place. But he also has a conscious that has cursed him from experiencing totally lasciviousness. I actually feel sorry for him.

After lunch, I took Melissa to her parents and went home and took a nap. I thought that the closing night film started at 7, so I got to the theater a little early. It actually started at 7:30, so I drove around the block and looked at this convertible I saw in a used car lot. The place was closed so I didn’t get out and look at the car. It was ’84 VW Cabriolet, I think. I used to have an ’80 ford Mustang convertible that I bought with inheritance money when my grandmother died. I got it in October (of 95, I think). I loved that car. It was the best car I ever had. Then in March, someone pulled right out in front of me and totaled it. The insurance I got didn’t cover what I had in the car and it was now summer, so I couldn’t get a new one with the money they gave me. They jack up the prices of convertibles right before summer of course. It sucks. One day in the future I will again have a convertible!

I was waiting for the movie to start and sent J.K. a text message that I missed him and he sent me one back almost immediately saying that said he missed me too. That made me feel good. There weren’t a whole lot of people in the theater and I eavesdropped in on some conversations about the Austin economy and some of the other films in the festival. Johnny called to say he was showering and would be there soon, so I set my stuff on a chair next to me to save him a seat.

The theater was eventually packed full but by this point there was maybe 50-60 people in the place as it was almost 30 minutes before showtime. A young guy I had seen in the lobby, with spiky hair and the spikes dyed red came in. He may have been 17 or so but seemed more like 14 or 15. He was with an older woman who was probably his mom. He was cute as hell. I love little punk boys. Who doesn’t? Anyway, the thing is, they walked right in front of me and Spike plops down on the seat right next to me. His mom sits on the other side of him. Now, there were plenty of seats in the place but this kid just sits in the chair right next to me so nonchalant and like it was no big deal. I must have perked up like a pup hearing a dog whistle. This young man was so cute and cool. (It gets even better). I wondered if maybe he or his mother knew my from the website or the cable access show and were going to talk to me. I tried to be cool and not say anything even though every fiber of my being was on fire. Spike takes out some paperback and starts to read. I look over a few times trying to make eye contact with him or his mom to see if they sat next to me because they wanted to talk to me but they both seemed to be acting normally and disinterested. It was fucking crazy, man.

I sat there next to the kid while he read (I could never see what the book was). Our legs rubbed a few times and he put his foot up and it hit my knee and stuff but this was all just the typical stuff that happens when you sit next to a stranger at a film. I was going crazy. Eventually, the theater was pretty packed and I saw Camarades Guy and tried to say hi to him, but he didn’t see me. Johnny came in, saw me and came and sat next to me and immediately started talking to Spike about his hair. Spike the wonderkid said it took 45 minutes to do and lasted a couple of weeks. He said he slept on his side so he didn’t mess it up. I told him that I wanted to touch it but didn’t know how to ask and not seem weird and he said, “People ask to touch it all the time.” I still didn’t ask and he didn’t offer, so I didn’t touch it. About this time, the introductions started and Spike puts down his book and we get ready for the film.

Scott Dinger and Sandra Martinez came up on stage to thunderous applause. They deserved them. This has been the best festival ever. I loved all the films (except one feature and one short, I believe). They brought up all the staffers/volunteers who are bigwigs in the festival and introduced the film’s director, Miles Swain. He gave a short intro and the film started.

Oh. Did I mention about talking to Scott Dinger about the opening music at the festival screenings? He said he just downloaded a bunch of dance and trance music that he thought sounded tribal from the net. He didn’t know the songs’ names used in the opening slideshow or the festival trailer. I know one of them was from “Lagaan.”

Anyway, “The Trip” was a really interesting film set in the 70’s and 80’s and it had lots of archival footage interspersed. There were also some period songs. I mention this because not only did Spike laugh at jokes that were very specific and required some knowledge of history (obviously from before he was born) but he also sang along to Andrea True Connection’s “More, More, More.” And then, to further blow my mind, when an archival clip of Harvey Milk came on the screen, for about 4 seconds, Spike says out loud and nonchalantly, "Harvey Milk." This cute, punk, young man recognized Harvey Milk on site. I was flabbergasted. I was stunned. I was amazed. I was awed. I was in love.

Now, I’m sure everyone would love to accuse me of all kinds of impurities for this feeling, but fuck them. I was enamoured by this incredibly cool and intelligent young man who seemed so comfortable in his own skin (and hair). I wanted to get to know him so bad. But how do you show interest in a 15-year-old guy when his mom is right there without seeming like a complete creep? It is impossible. I decided that if I had a chance, when the film was over, I would say, “I don’t know who you are or what your story is but… Go, go, go, go, go girl! You rock!” But when the film was over, Spike and mama got up and left without looking back. Sigh.

So Swain got up and did a awesome Q&A even though he allowed too many queens to ramble on and even gave one idiot, who wrongly likened the film to “The Living End,” the microphone for a second. The most hilarious moment came when someone asked Swain how he got the money together for the film and he said, “I give great blowjobs.” He was a wonderful and warm guy. He also said he was roommates with Peter Paige (Emmett from “Queer as Folk) a few years ago. This guy obviously has some connections. The film was lensed at Falcon Lair, which is an old house in Hollywood where several people have lived.

After the film, Camarades Guy and Johnny Oh! and I were talking and Johnny was trying desperately to hook us up but it was obvious Camarades wasn’t interested in me. That was cool. He’s a sweet, cool gay guy who loves film as much as I do, so I gave him my card and asked to check out the website and to shoot me an e-mail if he gets a chance. I doubt I’ll ever hear from him, but whatever happens, happens. It’s cool.

While we three were talking, this older gay guy comes over and starts talking to us about the film and then he and Camarades start talking about the TV show “Queer as Folk” and Johnny and I just sort of sit there and look on quietly. This guy starts talking one on one to Camarades and his body language even works to close in on him and exclude Johnny and I from the conversation. It was crude and tacky. What an asshole. Not only barges in on our convo, but tries to distract cutie Camarades Guy from me. I don’t think so.

We said our goodbyes and Johnny and I headed to Taco Cabana for a meal. As we were leaving I saw The Crazy Lady, Jordan Thomas, and her mom at the theater box office. Most people don’t know her by name. A friend of mine calls her The Church Lady. Thomas, her mother and brother, and various friends have a show on cable access (I think it was called “Millenium Billboard.” Some people probably call it “The Nashville Connection,” cause that’s the name of the movie they were trying to get off the ground a few years ago). Thomas’ show was singled out by The Austin Chronicle as one of the oddest and most interesting things on cable access. I have met her at ACAC one time when Mark Brauner and I were editing Lube TV and she was just so nice and sweet and normal, not the crazy, seemingly drug-addled, wild woman she is on her show. On the show, she plays a keyboard and sings while a blue screen backdrop has various other video things playing and her mother and brother, who thinks he’s Elvis, prance around and stuff. It’s so wonderfully absurdist. I have now seen them at The Metropolitan once and at Wal-Mart twice.

John and I cruised some cuties at Taco Cabana and ran into a co-worker of mine who is also into films, Ben Kobbs. He and his roommate do cinematography and camera work on a variety of projects. They recently worked on the trailer for the Austin Film Festival. They had just seen “Road to Perdition,” which I want to see. When I got home, my roommate Amanda and two of her female friends were watching porn. Some girl was eating some other girl’s pussy. Yuck!

Anyway, I’d like to take a moment to reflect on why I love the festival! My friend Johnny Oh! has taken issue with me a few times because I am so negative about some films at Agliff. But he knows I am more into film than he is and he acknowledges that I know more about film than him. What he likes about the festival is that he gets a chance to see a lot of gay films that he would otherwise not get an opportunity to see. Johnny is like me and is not so deep into home video, cable or DVDs. And I am beginning to see his point and agree with it. Whether or not I liked the films, and I liked most of them this year, it is definitely cool to have the opportunity to see so many independent videos and films. It is cool to see filmmaker’s early work as they make shorts and expand into feature directors. And, most importantly, it is such an awesome opportunity to hang out with a lot of gay and lesbian people and network, and be relaxed and just enjoy each others’ company. I noticed that I got very gay at work and with friends, calling everyone sweetie and honey, this year during the festival. They gayness of it all wore off on me. When your immersed in the gay film festival, you begin to think that the entire world is gay. You begin to believe that the entire world is accepting. You begin to see that you are not alone. It is an indescribable warm feeling of joy and openness that is often hard for gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgendered people (and everyone else that fits in this category) to find. Sure, there are the catty guys, the old trolls, the queens, the young hotties, the lesbians, the bull-dykes, the studs, the butches, the trannies… everyone. And you don’t always have to like or get along with everyone. That’s not the point. It’s about being seen and being comfortable. There is talk that there will be a theater like Regal’s The Arbor up north next year and that Agliff will be housed there. This is a mistake. Agliff should be at a normal, mainstream megaplex. We want to be out in the world, not closeted up in an art-house theater. Agliff makes us feel normal. During the festival, it comes obvious that it’s a huge gay world as open as the Grand Canyon, as diverse as the rainbow. Agliff is a place where, even though I often feel like an outsider, I always feel at home.

I can’t wait for Agliff 2003!

Lodger’s Best of fest?

Film – Group Short – Lunch with Eddie

Actor – Larry Sullivan in “The Trip”

Actress – Nomy Lamm in “Group”

Favorite Moment – Holding J.K.’s hand on Day 4

Lodger’s Hero – Todd in “When Boys Fly…”

And Worst:

Worst Film: The M.O. of M.I.

Worst Short: The Moment After

Festival Stars: Scott Dinger

Bobette

The Camarades Guy

Cutie Volunteer Boy

The Checkered Vans Guy

Spike

J.K.

Johnny Oh!

Robert Stevens

Miles Swain

The Gym Kids

Stewart Halprin

And just in case some of you think I’ve gotten to soft, please enjoy this e-mail exchange between Aaron Brown, writer of “the M.O. of M.I” and myself…

Aaron Brown Wrote:

Wow. Its amazing to me that someone as highly experienced and obviously enlightened as you hasn't made a film of your own. As they say those that can, do, and those that can't.....

A few points - the movie was made for entertainment, not for a political agenda...all the BS about Gay's killing Gay's being taboo is a sentiment that has waned since it was okay to play gay on TV – I’d say early 90’s. Or hadn't you heard? Specifically WHY do you consider it Taboo? I am curious. Are you scared that America or the world won't view YOU as a good person?

Film festival crowds are clamoring for something NEW - not a coming out story, not about unrequited love, not about AIDS, not about drag queens or gay bars...just characters who HAPPEN to be gay, in an engaging story. Don't think our movie was engaging? So far I have seen thousands of people enjoying our film....the 12:30 PM crowd in Philadelphia sure didn't think it was bad. They sold out (700 people), and every person stuck around to compliment the work. Not one person mentioned any of the things you mentioned. The sellouts in Chicago and New York also were filled with people that had nothing but praise for something they saw as "ground breaking". Honolulu, Pittsburgh, Kansas City and Durham NC were equally as excited by it. I can’t imagine that all of these festivals screening committees were that far off base. Especially coupled with the audience response.

“It's horrid writing from an idiot who apparently never had a successful relationship in his entire life. Expecting insights on male intimacy from this guy is like expecting a 2-year-old to create an artistic masterpiece by smearing feces on the wall...vile self-hating fag...“

Interesting comments. Of course you don’t know me. But as with the rest of the review, it was uneducated at best. And I find it fascinating that you were expecting to find insights about male intimacy from a thriller at a Gay film Festival. I can suggest a few books that are actually written for that purpose and save you the research time.

What's sad is that you really think you are providing a SERVICE to people with your catty comments and puerile attitude. What does a female director have to do with ANYTHING? Are you really helping promote entertainment or help our community? Thankfully, I have enough experience to place a value on your review...worth what I paid for it...nada.

And before you swell up with pride at having "pissed me off" - realize this review means nothing, just as you mean nothing. I simply find it disappointing someone who admits to being gay can be so obtuse. You definitely are not a tribute to our community, or to those that are trying to move the Gay film Genre forward from its stagnant, predictable essence. It does guarantee a lifetime of bad films for you to blast, but does it really change things?

We had a good laugh at your immature review and chalked it up to a disenfranchised wannabe.

Cheers!

Aaron Brown

And I replied:

It's obvious from your comments (as well as your film) that you know nothing about entertainment - which is what my reviews are all about...

Thanks for providing such excellent fodder for my site.

By the way, my short film "Rector" played in Agliff this year but since you are as oblivious to all my other talents, from only reading one review, as I am to yours, from only seeing your movie, I wouldn't expect you to know that.

People do so often judge based on first impression

Here's hoping no confused young men or women or straight people see your film as their first exposure to gay life.

lodger

Lodger 2002 @ Agliff 2002

I’m out!