I picked Melissa up at Mojos and we headed to the theater to see “His Secret Life.” Johnny Oh! Met us there and we also saw Camarades guy. I told her the story about Johnny Oh! Talking to him. She asked me if he wore the same shirt every day and when she did, he turned around and looked right at us, so I had to play it off as if she were talking about someone else. So I turned it on Johnny.

When we got in the theater, Johnny saw Camarades guy and started waving and pointing to me. I was severely embarrassed but Johnny kept talking about what a nice smile he had and how I should turn around and smile at him. I am just too shy for all that. The whole thing was rather embarrassing.

After the movie, I got to meet him and Johnny was right, he does have a really high-pitched voice. But it was not so bad after you got over the initial shock of it. He’s a really cute and smart guy but it was obvious by his body language and his eye contact he is not interested in me. He is hot for Johnny! It’s obvious. Of course, he is not John’s type at all.

After a bit of talk and realizing that we would see Camarades Guy on the next day for “The Trip,” Johnny, Melissa and I went to Wan Fu for some Chinese food. Melissa actually paid for her own meal, so that was a nice surprise.

Johnny was going to work out or go jogging or something, so we went back to my place and decided we were going to go out. Johnny said he’d call us later and maybe we would hook up. Since Melissa is underage, we had to go some place 18 and up. We decided to check out covers around town. We went to Elysium on Red River and I pulled into a No Parking zone while Melissa went to ask what the cover was. She came back in a huff and said, “We’re not going in that fucking place.” Of course, I asked why. Apparently she asked the doorman the cover and he said it was four dollars, when she asked how much for under 21, he snapped back that it was a thousand dollars. She said, “No, really,” and he said, “A thousand dollars.” So, she walked off in a huff. What an asshole. Elysium makes a ton of mad cash of underagers. This guy is a dick.

So, we went down to the 4th street Warehouse and check at Boyz Cellar. I was free but Melissa was 5 bucks. That seemed pretty reasonable, so we decided to go in. We knew that once we went once place, we would have to stay there because Melissa couldn’t afford cover at a bunch of places. Most places are free if you’re over 21, so I had no concerns, but I didn’t want to have to help her out with too much cash. So, since I thought Boyz Cellar would be a fun way to devirginize Melissa to a gay bar, and it was cheap, we went there.

Most of the waiters were wearing underwear again and the place had a pretty good crowd considering that it was a Sunday night but still a weekend night, since Monday is Labor Day. The music seemed lame and nobody was really dancing. We stood around for a while and I had a couple of beers. For about 30 minutes it was pretty boring and I was afraid we picked the wrong place. We were stuck. Plus there was going to be a drag show at midnight. Ugh. At least it would be something new for Melissa.

There were some crazy, old, drunk guys dancing and we decided to dance to. There were a few more people out on the floor by then. Melissa had kept her backpack/purse with her, so it was kinda a hassle for her, but it also gave her that street urchin vibe that looks so cool. We danced for a bit and then the floor was cleared for the drag show.

I hate drag shows. I think they are about the most boring, silly, lame and stupid things that you can have at a gay bar. To have one at the Boyz Cellar, which is supposed to be about cute boys, is even dumber. My friend Jan, who used to live in DC, says in the north, drag performers actually sing songs, not lip-sync. That would, at least, be a step up. This show was pretty lame and predictable but Melissa seemed to enjoy it in the way that only someone who has never seen one might enjoy it. There was one fierce, huge black guy who did Donna Summer’s “Last Dance” and he was kinda fun. There was also two guys who did “America” from “West Side Story,” which was, at least, novel for a cruddy little drag show in Austin. What made us begin to have fun were some people there, including some girls, who were watching the show. There were a couple of cute, young guys who must have known one of the performers or something because they were giving dollar bills, and dancing, and laughing and having a good time. This help perk up the vibe in the place.

Then Melissa, who knows everybody who is simply no one in Austin, ran in to some people she used to know at AT&T. And me and Melissa started eyeing this cute boy across the dance floor. Somehow when this was going on, Melissa also met a cute little bisexual girl named Jessica (or was it Jennifer) who was standing nearby. When we pointed out the cute hottie across the way, who was wearing a button down shirt, had horn-rimmed glasses and seemed very into the drag show, J said he looked like “Buddy Holly.” That made me think that he looked more like Weezer doing “Buddy Holly” and from then on he was called “Weezer Boy.”

Oh. Also, the cute little bartender who looks like Harry Potter was there again, wearing cute little white briefs with punk pins on them. They weren’t actually punk pins but the ones that have sayings on them. I, of course, couldn’t get close enough to read any of them. I went back, at one point, to get a drink, and he fucked around and waited on other people and wrote some shit down and basically ignored me like I was invisible. I doubt that he did this on purpose, it’s just that he didn’t even see me. It made me feel like shit, so I didn’t go back to him after that. I went to a cute hottie at the front bar wearing a cowboy hat. Normally, I don’t like cowboy types, but he had a really cute face.

Eventually the drag show ended and everyone crowded on the dance floor including me, Melissa, and J. We were still looking at Weezer Boy and Melissa walks towards him and next thing I know she is dragging him over to me and introducing me. We shake hands and start to dance. I found out later she had asked him to come dance with me, but at the time I thought he was there thinking Melissa wanted to dance with him, so I was shy and not sure how to act around him. Melissa starts dancing with J and I’m dancing with Weezer Boy and these two guys who look like they’re straight out of a 70’s disco cocaine flick come up and start dancing with all of us. Well, they started by surrounding the girls almost Roxbury Boys style but pretty soon Weezer Boy is over there feeling up one of the guy’s chest as well. It was all pretty fun and crazy. I just wish I would have known that Melissa asked him to come dance with me, cause I would have been all over him. He even motioned me over to dance with the group at one point, but I was still too shy. What a sweet guy.

Johnny Oh! Called and said he was on his way and going to go to the Forum too because the bartenders there were supposed to be wearing briefs. But he was going to stop by Boyz Cellar first. He came on tot he dance floor and started talking to me. By this point, I’m pretty drunk so after a small amount of convo, I start dancing into him and rubbing my butt on him and he gets upset. He tells me that I just made him bump into the person behind him and step on their feet and I say, “Good,” and he leaves in a huff. Now, I’m worried that I’ve pissed off my very best guy friend in the world and I can’t have fun dancing anymore and Weezer Boy is inviting me to freak on the floor with him and everyone and I’m too upset. It sucked. All I can do at this point is rehearse in my head the apology I’m going to leave on Johnny’s voicemail later because I know he won’t be taking my call.

After a few minutes, Melissa and I take a break and get a drink. I go back and introduce myself to Weezer Boy who tells me his name is Todd. I tell him we’re up in the front and he says he’ll come up in a bit. Johnny shows up and I give him a huge hug and apologize profusely and he’s already over it. I was so happy that he wasn’t mad because I was drunk and acting a fool and he had every right to be mad. He tells me the bartenders aren’t wearing briefs at the Forum and it’s dead over there. Boyz Cellar was popping! He tells me to look behind me and there’s Camarades Guy. I start talking to him. I’ve never seen him at a club before and I ask him if he drinks and he says yes but he’s through for the night. I apologize for my beer breath and notice how he really isn’t interested in my and feel sad about it but also, having just danced my ass off with Weezer boy, feel pretty good about things too.

Earlier in the night, a guy wearing a faux diamond encrusted watch had told Melissa he watches the show and she liked that. Now a guy comes up to me and tells me how much he loves the show and gives me props for being out there and open on TV. And says really nice things to me about what I am doing, which is something I’d really like to get more of, kudos from the gay community for the show. “Lube TV” is not a gay show, but I’m gay and I’m on it and I’m open. I believe me being gay has pretty much come up on every episode because it’s nearly impossible for me to string two sentences together without mentioning the fact that I’m gay in one of them.

Anyway, this guy also asks me who the gorgeous young man who has been on the show lately is and I ask him if he means the one with blonde hair. He says yes and I tell him that is J.K. and we are kind of dating right now. He says that J.K. is just beautiful but I should let him talk more. “We want to hear what he has to say,” he tells me. I’ll have to remember to try and get J.K., whom we call Trick on the show, to say something now and then.

John tells me he’s picked up someone and takes off. Camarades guy has disappeared. Weezer Boy is out on the dancefloor with 70’s coke-head guy and I’m beat. Melissa and I decide to call it a night. It is almost 2 anyway. Melissa goes and talks to Weezer Boy and he tells her he’s in the navy and from Salt Lake City. Lapsed Mormons rock! The two best boyfriends I ever had, before J.K. (who is not really a boyfriend, anyway), were lapsed Mormon boys. As my friend Oriah says, “There’s nothing like a Mormon boy gone evil.” Melissa also gets J’s number.

On the way out of the club we saw J.K.’s roommate and said hello. We went back to my place, got some drinks and sat and talked. Melissa told me all about her new roommate, Tobias. John and I want to meet him because she says he’s cute and possibly trade! Woo-hoo.

Melissa went to bed on the couch and I went to my room and looked at webcams for a while. John called to say that the trick he picked up got lost in traffic. He’s not sure if it was intentional or not but he’s going back to 4th street to see what’s going on outside Boyz Cellar. Apparently, it’s kind of a pick up place after hours when the clubs are still going. I told him if he saw Weezer Boy to give him my number. He called back even later to tell me he hadn’t found anyone but he had seen Weez and given him my number. It was after 5am, so I went to bed. We are getting up at 11am tomorrow for the My Gay Movie showcase at noon.

Lodger (and I’m Mary Tyler Moore) @ Agliff 2002