Went into the Driskill bar and there were lots of people about so I opened up my flip-phone and dialed Web's number but as I did a voice called out "Lodger" and a hand reached out and grabbed me. It was Pete Barnstrom, a friend of Web's who just made a feature film called "Vaya con dios, Asshole" which was soundly rejected by AFF (according to Pete). We chatted for a bit with another friend of Pete's and then they introduced me to a cute (but, sadly, bearded) kid named Gus (I later learned his full name was Gus Sacks) who had a short film in the festival. We all talked about the big Bar-B-Que that is at the Governor's mansion which is always the big shindig at AFF. For some reason this year, we weren't given invites to the event. It's a huge fucking oversight by AFF. I always am invited. I am about to shoot off an angry e-mail about not being invited right now. And trust me, heads will roll!

Web had been in a panel in the afternoon with a guy named Adam McKay (the director and co-writer of Will Ferrell's "Anchorman" movie) and Web said he was hilarious. They were showing some of his shorts at the Texas Spirit Theater at the Bob Bullock Texas State History Museum at 8pm. We decided we were going to go grab a bite to eat and head over to see that show. We said our good-byes to Pete, Gus and the other guy (whose name I don't even remember) and were walking out of Driskill when Web got a call on his cell phone from his lady friend Dana. She had apparently driven all the way from Houston to surprise him. We hooked up with her and went to dinner at Starseeds. We ate and chatted. There was a Tom Waits album on and I impressed the cute Emo-kid waitress when I described one of the tunes as a "post-apocalyptic pirate song."

We went to the Bob Bullock and they put us in a line down in the lobby even though it was already about 7:30pm and the thing was scheduled to start at 8. A cute college boy was in front of us and when I was being goofy and saying "Hi" really loud (I don't remember why), he turned around and said, "Oh for a second I thought you said Ty, that's my name." After he turned back around I made a joke with Web and Dana about how that now I knew his name I would have something to moan when I was fantasizing about him later and masturbating. Ty ended up talking to some younger, fatter, gayer guy then me which was disappointing to say the least.

Gus came by and said "Hi" but instead of standing with us, he went to the end of the line. I was kind of disappointed because, well, he was kinda cute, even with that sort-of Diablo Van Dyke beard and moustache combo he is cultivating. Gus is 16 and can grow facial hair, so he does. Anyway, at about 8pm one of the volunteers told us that the show we were waiting for was "sold out." I wondered who the fuck was in the theater since no one ahead of us got in. The fucking assholes could have told us there was a line upstairs and that we probably couldn't get in, but they didn't. Sometimes AFF is so fucked disorganized and irritating. (Later in the week my friend J.H. told me that there was some sort of fancy AFF shindig upstairs that evening and after everyone in the party went in, there was no room left for those people waiting in line. What a fucking rude thing to do! And where was my invite to that party?)

We decided to go over to the Dobie and catch the end of a shorts program since our plan was to go over there and see "Open House" and a midnight show of "Mojave" as well. We went into the theater and stood at the back while a short about a prison execution was finishing up. It ended up being a joke of some sort and some sort of joke on some people because it wasn't a real execution or something. I'm glad I didn't see the whole thing because it looked like the sort of thing that would have sent me into a tirade. Capitol punishment is not something to joke about, asshole. The program lists it as "Shock Act" by Seth R. Grossman. You're lucky I didn't see your film from the start Mr. Grossman, or I might be cursing you right now.

We went and grabbed some seats up front before the next film started and were treated to a wonderful short called "Wow and Flutter" by Gary Lundgren. Although no time frame was really mentioned, I assumed the piece was set in the late 80's as it is about a young boy who buys vinyl records even though his friend says it is becoming obsolete. The crux of the story has him making a mix tape for an older girl he has a crush on. When his asshole dad burns his records and tapes, the boy finds that he has missed one - the girl's mix tape. He gives it to her (his last bit of music in the world - and this kid loves music!) and she kisses him. It's not only a sweet and charming short, but it is made by a consummate filmmaker and had a wonderful young actor named Ethan Moskowitz in the lead. (The writer/director and producer did a Q&A after the screenings and said that it was shot in Medford, Oregon and that they weren't going to make the film unless they found the right young male actor. They found the perfect one indeed).

Next up was "Heartworn," a decent little Australian romantic comedy that was funny but a little convoluted and a little long. The best part of it was a cool music video spoof that had an awesome art design using all white backgrounds, newspaper streamers as decoration and sewing patterns as costumes. It looked really cool. The short also had quite a few clever transitions between scenes.

The last short was an odd little film starring Hank Azaria as a lovelorn guy called "Nobody's Perfect." Azaria plays a guy who gets a pair of glasses from his dead grandfather in a dream. With these glasses he can look at a woman and see how their relationship will end. He looks at a lot of women trying to find Miss Right but never can find her. This film had a ton of recognizable faces in it including Paul Provenza, Maria Bello, Richard Kind, Harold Gould (who looks ancient), Sara Silverman, and Jeffrey Tambor. When Christina Applegate showed up, I thought, Oh! This has got to be directed by her husband, Jonathan Schaech. But nope, it was co-written and directed by Azaria. It was cute but kinda obvious. I mean, he even uses Peter Gabriel's "Solsbury Hill" at the climax of the movie. And the continuous walk-on of stars here really distracts from any charm the movie might have. You're to busy going, "Wow! Jeffrey Tambor," to pay attention to anything he might be saying. I'm sure Azaria was trying to prove he can direct, but he would have been better off to use more unknowns.

After the Q&A, we went to the lobby and waited to get into "Open House." An older lady volunteer introduced the film. She was very flat. The feature was preceded by a cute little music video thing called "Danny Bot" about a boy and his robot sang to the tune of the traditional Irish ballad "Danny Boy." It was cute and during a Q&A after the feature, the filmmaker, Frank Lesser, hyped his website, dannybot.com , where you can see the film.

We watched "Open House" which was directed by Dan Mirvish, who I believe is one of the founders of the Slamdance Film Festival. (Which makes it pretty obvious how his bad film is getting accepted into other festivals). Mirvish wasn't there but his co-writer Lawrence Maddox did a Q&A and likened their film to "Dancer in the Dark," which is quite hilarious and pompous, I must say.

We went to the lobby and then to the bathroom. Web and I were singing, "Do you love this urinal? Yes, I love this urinal" as we pissed. We got some popcorn and a Coke and got in line for "Mojave." I saw my friend Jan and said hello. We got into the theater quickly and the volunteer did a standard intro. I saw Ty and some of his friends sitting over on the other side of the theater. I thought to myself, if I want to see this hottie again, I should really go to the screening of "Saw," but I knew I wouldn't be able to force myself to sit through that seeming cinematic atrocity. As it was, I did not see him again throughout the entire festival. Sigh.

There was a new AFF trailer at the beginning of the midnight show. It was animated and featured scenes from famous movies, like "Godfather," "Pulp Fiction" and "Star Wars," but the actors just stood there and went "Ahhhhh" and "Ummmm." The point of course, was that films would be nothing without dialogue and writers. It's a funny and clever trailer.

After the movie, I drove Web and Dana to their cars and invited them to come stay at LodgAngeles. Web was planning on sleeping on the couch and I told them that it folded out into a bed. But Dana had class in the morning (on a Saturday!) and so she went back to Houston. Web came and even though he was tired, he stayed up and we chatted a bit. He showed me a short film that Pete had made called "Lucky Numbers" that I thought was pretty good. At first I thought it had no ending, but the exclamation point/punch line to the film is buried in the end credits. It needs to be moved closer to the end of the film and it could get accepted at festivals. It's funny and the lead actor is cute and goofy enough to grab your attention.

Apparently Pete, who lives in San Antonio, belongs to some group there where they all write scripts and then pass them around to each other and make them into films. So, you get to be a screenwriter and a filmmaker who works on a film you did not script. They apparently work together and have some actors and crew who help them all make films. Sort of a filmmaking collaborative. Sounds like a cool idea. It reminded me of when I made films with my friends Richard Eckersley, Kelly O'Hare and Tim Norfolk, none of who I see nowadays.

lodger@AFF2004