I left work a little early Thursday to go to the final party at the Stephen F. Austin hotel next to the Paramount. I got downtown about 6pm and was walking in front of the Paramount when I saw my friend Jan waiting to see “Standing in the Shadows of Motown.” The legendary Funk Brothers were supposed to do a live concert after the movie live on stage. I had opted to see “Shag Carpet Sunset” and “Narc” instead.

While I chit-chatted with Jan about the festival and various movies, including “Master of the Game,” which she liked, Lisa Albracht, the AFF Film Programmer stopped by to say hi. I hadn’t seen her for the entire festival. She must have been working her butt off behind the scenes. We talked for a second and I told her how much fun I had had hanging out with the “Gaydar” guys. She told me that she had heard they were upset because their film wasn’t listed in the “Print Source” section of the festival program. They hadn’t said a word to me about it. (If you’re interested in this film, send me an e-mail or call Lisa at AFF).

And finally, standing in front of the Paramount, some of the other folks who screened films with me came up and said hello. It was easy to see me because I was wearing a white girl’s shirt with leopard spots on the print, a black vest, blue jeans and my “not gay’ checkered vans. I got lots of looks and even laughed at how absurd I looked when I passed a store window where the front glass acted as a mirror.

I went over to the SFA hotel lounge to see who might be at the party and immediately upon walking in, I saw Brett Carr who made “Two Birds with One Stallone.” I didn’t go talk to him because I was pretty hard on his film and I imagine he wouldn’t want to talk to me anyway. I also saw Jordan Thomas and her clan over in the corner filming.

Whew – Jordan Thomas. How do you explain Jordan Thomas to people who don’t know her, who don’t live in Austin? Hell, most people in Austin don’t know her by name. I actually usually call her “The Crazy Lady.” Thomas, with her brother who thinks he’s Elvis and her ancient mother always in tow, has the most insane cable access show ever produced in Austin. Thomas, dressed like a 50-year-old Barbie doll, plays a keyboard and sings. The songs seem impromptu and bizarre. This is all done while her brother and mother and various other people, dance, cavort, play instruments or just hang out looking odd. Generally, everyone on the show seems to be over 50. Also, while all this occurs, a rear blue-screen projection plays out in the background, sometimes it features a different camera angle than what is occurring with the main camera, other times it contains some sort of random images. It’s like an acid trip, really – except everyone is old. It’s one of the most absurdly surreal things I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s like a cable access video train-wreck. You can not look away. I’ll never forget the first time I saw the show. Thomas was singing some song about Jesus (“Jesus is the light. Jesus is the way. He’s the light and he’s the way…”) and all this acid trip craziness was going on all around her and she was dressed like Tammy Faye Baker’s sister (the one they don'’ talk about) and I was stunned. Then, out of nowhere, the scene changes for about a minute to a trip they took to a Taco Cabana with a big close up of a taco salad smothered in guacamole. Then, just as abruptly, it was back to the acid trip insanity. I watched the rest of the entire show. I was mesmerized.

So, anyway, here I am at an AFF party and there’s Jordan and her entourage. It was yet another moment of sublime absurdity that AFF has been this year.

I saw my friend J.H. over in a corner, so I went over to say hi. He introduced me to Kevin Wild, the Director of Registration and two people associated with a short called “Fits and Starts.” After a bit of chit-chat, the filmmakers leave and Wild mentions that he handled over 1,900 registrants this year and I was the only person with one name. I told the story from Day One about having trouble getting my pass. This is the guy who put me at the front of the list, not in the “L’s” I appreciate the props!

Also, during the conversation, Wild mentioned that “Washington Heights” had won the Feature Film competition and we both lamented what an average film it was.

Linda from AFF came in to tell everyone that they were letting in non-badge-holders to the Paramount for the Motown documentary. So, she told everyone, in order to get good seats, you had better get over there now! Wild and J.H. said goodbye and headed next door. I was alone. I eavesdropped on a conversation and heard someone introducing a guy near the bar as Dirk, an actor in the film “Master of the Game.”

I had called Larry LaFond and Terry Ray, the filmmakers behind “Gaydar” when I first got there because I was surprised they weren’t at the party. They had forgotten about it and were at Bookpeople but said they would come by in a few minutes. I was beginning to think that they probably wouldn’t make it when - in they walked. We chatted a bit and I told them all about the Crazy Lady and stuff. We had a nice, albeit brief, conversation. Terry told me, when I asked him about his work on Nickelodeon, that he was in the last episode of “Keenal and Kel,” which is like a two-hour movie that Nick runs all the time. I’m going to have to look for that. They also told me that while they’ve been in Austin and enjoying the festival, they’ve also been writing during the day. They are working on a couple of comedy feature screenplays. They stayed at a bed and breakfast somewhere north on 47th street.

The guys were off to check out the bats at the bridge on South Congress before going to the Dobie for a 9:30 screening of their film. I told them I had talked to Melissa that day and she had said she was going to come, so they said they’d look for her.

As they left, and I was going to go to the Omni, I stopped to say goodbye to Macy, a party hostess who had been at both the Stephen F. Austin parties and the party at Cedar Street. She’s so gorgeous. Macy told me that she was an AFF volunteer and that she was a legal secretary in Austin by day. She should be a model.

As I stepped into the hotel lobby, I made eye contact with Jordan Thomas (The Crazy Lady!), and said hello and the next thing I knew, we were in a 10-minute conversation about Austin, films, and her unusual life. I asked if her show was still airing and she told me that the ACAC was running reruns at random times while they were working on their film. The film is called “The Nashville Connection” (as far as I know) and God only knows what it will be about. They have shot over 240 hours and are trying to work on editing it. She really was good about hyping Austin as a place where businesses and people help filmmakers, which is true.

She told me an insane story about filming some stuff recently here in San Antonio (where her husband lives) with a Heavy Metal band and she kept referring to herself as Flash Jordan, so I guess that’s the name of the character she plays in the movie. She said that she was struggling with the idea of singing with the band because she listened to some of their music and the lyrics were so satanic. I tried to be as nice as possible, she was very sweet and nice to me. I really was interested in talking to her yet thinking she’s a bit crazy at the same time. She asked me about my show and mentioned that she had had a lot of problems with ACAC over equipment issues.

She introduced me to someone name Hollywood Something-or-the-other, a bulky young man who was holding a video camera, and as I was shaking his hand Linda from AFF ran by and said, “Lodger! The movie is starting!” I knew she was talking about the Motown thing but decided to take the break in conversation to say my good-byes.

I went to the Omni for “Shag Carpet Sunset” and was a little early. I noticed there were only a few people there. The filmmaker had sent me some press e-mail type stuff to my mailbox at the site, apparently trying to get me to come to the film, so I thought he might say hello but he didn’t. I noticed this one guy, whose always at AFF and lots of film type stuff here in Austin, in the front row. This guy was also an extra in Courtney’s movie. He has long curly hair, and wears glasses and looks very collegiate, like he’s a eccentric professor or something. I think someone’s parents sat in front of me as well.

The film was introduced by a volunteer who said that there would be a Q&A before the film but the director did not even come up at the beginning to be acknowledge. Why? Dude, people came out to see your film. At least get up and say, “thank you” or something. Anyway, the film was rather pointless and dull and by the time it ended I was in no mood to hear the director say anything. So, I got up and left.

It was 9:30 and “Narc” was supposed to start at 9:30 at the Westgate, so I figured there was probably no way I could make it on time, plus I was tired and hungry and I had watched just about as many films as I could stomach in 8 days. I was cinexhausted! I went and got some Chinese at Wan Fu and went home and chilled.

Yes, AFF is exhausting and sometimes the films are awful. But sometimes they are awesome too! Even though I never want to see a film again for as long as I live, I can’t wait for AFF 2003.

Random last day stuff:

1) My friend Meredith went to “Fabled” on the last night and she said that they gave everyone who attended a little prescription-type- pill bottle filled with candy that said “fabled.com” on it or something like that.

2) I need to give props to Melissa for taking some of the pictures that are on the site for Day 3.

At film fest’s end, here is a list of the AFF winners:

Feature: Washington Heights Short: Neo-Noir Student Short: Abbie Down East

I feel pretty good about the fact that I saw “Abbie Down East” pretty early in the screening process and recommended it to Lisa. It’s a nice short.

Cinexhausted!

Lodger2002 @ AFF’s end, 2002 Whew!